Prescription Drug Abuse Satire

Every day in the United States, an average of two thousand teenagers use prescription drugs without a doctor’s guidance for the first time. Prescription drug abuse is the number one killer of middle aged Floridians, killing an average of 9 people per day in Florida. How should we fix this issue in Florida and save other people from putting their lives in jeopardy? I propose that anyone who has a record of prescription drug abuse should be forced to be the government’s guinea pigs. They have to completely submit themselves to the government as a consequence of abusing pills. Having this in place would deter people from taking prescription drugs, save animals from being tested on, and it would also expedite the process of government drug testing.