Chapter 3: The Self and Perception
The Self in Human Communication
Self-concept— your image of who you are; how you perceive yourself: your feelings & thoughts about your strengths & weaknesses, your abilities & limitations. 1.
Develops from 4 sources
The images that others have of you (those most significant to your life- if they think highly of you, you will see a positive self-image reflected in their behaviors; if they think little of you, you will see a more negative image) i.
Looking-glass self— the image of yourself that others reveal to you through the way they communicate with you b.
Comparisons between yourself & others (you gain a different perspective when you see yourself in comparison to your peers) c.
Your cultural experiences (these experiences provide benchmarks against which you can measure yourself; for example, your ability to achieve what your culture defines as success contributes to a positive self-concept)
Self-interpretations & self-evaluations; your evaluation of your own thoughts & behaviors
Self-interpretations- your reconstruction of the incident & your understanding of it ii.
Self-evaluations- the value-good or bad- that you place on the behavior B.
Self-awareness- your knowledge of who you are; of your traits, your strengths & limitations, your emotions & behaviors, & your individuality (basic to all communication) 1.
Your 4 Selves (Johari Window); divided into four areas or “panes,” the Johari window shows different aspects or versions of the self (4 areas are not separate from one another, but interdependent; when one area gets larger, one or another becomes smaller) a.
Open self- represents all the information, behaviors, attitudes, & feelings about yourself that you know & that others also know (varies according to your personality & the people to whom you’re relating) b.
Blind self- represents knowledge about you that others have but you don’t (Example: habits you don’t realize you have); a large blind self indicates low self-awareness and interferes with accurate communication c.
Unknown self- represents those parts of yourself that neither you nor others know (could be revealed during hypnosis or in dreams) d.
Hidden self- represents all of the knowledge you have of yourself but keep secret from others (successfully kept secrets)
Growing in Self-Awareness (important in communication)
Listen to others- feedback you need to increase self-awareness
Increase your open self-increases the chances others will reveal what they know about you
Seek information about yourself- use everyday situations to encourage people to reveal what they know about you; seek in moderation d.
Dialogue with yourself; no one knows you better than you know yourself; ask yourself self-awareness questions
Self-esteem- a measure of how valuable you think you are 1.
Ways to increase self-esteem; increasing self-esteem will help you to function more effectively in school, in interpersonal relationships, & in careers) a.
Attack self-destructive beliefs- set unrealistically high standards & therefore almost always lead to failure
Examples of self-destructive beliefs:
The belief that you have to be perfect; this causes you to try to perform at unrealistically high levels at work, school, & home; anything short of perfection is unacceptable 2.
The belief that you have to please others & that your worthiness depends on what others think of you 3.
The belief that you have to take on more responsibilities than any one person can be expected to handle
Seek out nourishing people (also seek to become more nourishing)
Noxious Vs. Nourishing People
Noxious people criticize & find fault with just about everything 2.
Nourishing people are positive & optimistic; they reward us, stroke us, and make us feel good about ourselves c.
Work on projects that will...
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