Perfectionism
ARE WE SETTING
OURSELVES UP FOR
A FALL?
Mbali Xolo
If you believe that you have to be the best at everything you do, you may be setting yourself up for failure.
Nowadays, it’s not so difficult to get caught up in the pursuit of unhealthy perfectionism. We stress when we invite friends to our home because it’s not big enough or neat enough or it doesn’t look like the cover of a decor magazine. On the other hand, the dinner we cook isn’t
‘MasterChef’ standard. When it comes to our appearance, we’re never thin enough, tall enough, pretty enough or good looking enough. These characteristics are often associated with perfectionism. Perfectionism is often mistaken for ‘being perfect’ or doing something ‘perfectly’. However, there’s a fine line between having aspirations and having aspirations but criticizing yourself along the way.
WHAT IS PERFECTIONISM?
Dr. Brené Brown, a licensed
American social worker, defines perfectionism as a “cognitive behavioural process, a way of thinking that says this: If I look perfect, do it perfect, work perfect and live perfect, I can avoid or minimize shame, blame and judgement.”
Perfectionists aim for unobtainable goals, and measure their self-worth by how
much gets done and what is accomplished. They pressure themselves to achieve unrealistic goals therefore setting themselves up for disappointment. They tend to be harsh critics of themselves when they fail to meet their standards. This could then lead to anxiety and low self-esteem.
Take a married couple for example, John and JaVae, who were guests on Dr. Phil’s Show a few years back. John is a doctor and JaVae is a stay-athome mom with a beautiful home and two adorable daughters. They seem to have it all; but behind the ‘perfect’ image are two people who are terrified of showing themselves to the world.
John can’t bear the thought of not being perfect. He is more concerned about what people think about him and
OURSELVES UP FOR
A FALL?
Mbali Xolo
If you believe that you have to be the best at everything you do, you may be setting yourself up for failure.
Nowadays, it’s not so difficult to get caught up in the pursuit of unhealthy perfectionism. We stress when we invite friends to our home because it’s not big enough or neat enough or it doesn’t look like the cover of a decor magazine. On the other hand, the dinner we cook isn’t
‘MasterChef’ standard. When it comes to our appearance, we’re never thin enough, tall enough, pretty enough or good looking enough. These characteristics are often associated with perfectionism. Perfectionism is often mistaken for ‘being perfect’ or doing something ‘perfectly’. However, there’s a fine line between having aspirations and having aspirations but criticizing yourself along the way.
WHAT IS PERFECTIONISM?
Dr. Brené Brown, a licensed
American social worker, defines perfectionism as a “cognitive behavioural process, a way of thinking that says this: If I look perfect, do it perfect, work perfect and live perfect, I can avoid or minimize shame, blame and judgement.”
Perfectionists aim for unobtainable goals, and measure their self-worth by how
much gets done and what is accomplished. They pressure themselves to achieve unrealistic goals therefore setting themselves up for disappointment. They tend to be harsh critics of themselves when they fail to meet their standards. This could then lead to anxiety and low self-esteem.
Take a married couple for example, John and JaVae, who were guests on Dr. Phil’s Show a few years back. John is a doctor and JaVae is a stay-athome mom with a beautiful home and two adorable daughters. They seem to have it all; but behind the ‘perfect’ image are two people who are terrified of showing themselves to the world.
John can’t bear the thought of not being perfect. He is more concerned about what people think about him and