a view form 80

Growing old is a delicate and difficult journey. I use to find myself feeling uncomfortable and uneasy whenever I was in the presence of someone in old age. Their fragility made me anxious and I always struggled with finding similarities and bonding with aging people. Looking back, I realized this was a very ignorant and self-centered way to think and behave. Malcolm Cowley's essay, “The View from 80” gave me a new perspective on aging individuals. His essay made me realize I identify with the internal struggle the elderly experience. “That View From 80” allowed me relate on a deep level to the aging individual's fight to keep their dignity, the struggle to maintain their identity, and the process of accepting life's changes. I believe that it is every human’s right and desire to leave this life with dignity. At the beginning of Cowley's essay, he is at his 80th birthday party. While blowing out his candles, he recalls the Northern Ojibwas customs of their aging people. He remembers the traditional ceremony that takes place where the older gentleman is put to his rest by taking a quick blow to the back of the head by a tomahawk. Though a ceremony like the one of the Northern Ojibwas may seem extreme, I understand Cowley's position. It is a way to go out with honor and pride with respect from his people. Nobody wants to leave this life needing someone to take care of them, such as changing their diapers, feeding them, or bathing them. There is a level of pride is justifiable with old age. I believe there is dignity in knowing how to accept the help from others when it is needed. A few years ago, I was present when my grandfather, Blaire, passed away. He lived a full life and was an honest man. He was happily married for 65 years and raised four intelligent, loving children. The day he past the whole family was at the hospital. Even though the emotions were high, my grandfather’s calming aura settled in the room. I believe my grandfather know he was going out with dignity as his children stood around him honoring his life while he was taking his last breath. I did not realize how much I look up and admire my grandfather’s life. The last couple months of his life he spent in a nursing home. He graciously accepted the much needed help. Like every other stage in life aging is a process. I believe many people in old age move from a place of denial of their capabilities to a place of acceptance of their limitations. Cowley suggests that there is a time when every aging person experiences the limitations and aliments of one’s own body. In his essay he shares an experience he has when he almost got into a car accident. The other man gets out of the car ready to fight but walks away once he saw Cowley was an older man. Cowley did not want to accept that maybe it was the old age that was causing him to be more weary behind the wheel. In the following paragraph he goes on to describe a woman offering him a seat on the bus. He initially declines the offer. As this scenario continues throughout the years he eventually takes the offer and is glad he could rest. These two experiences Cowley shares clearly shows his slow process into acceptance. Initially, he was in denial and angry that someone thought of him as old and unable to function properly behind the wheel. Then, years later he accepts the offer for a seat on the bus. Cowley’s process reminds me of one of my own. When my parents told me that they were “cutting me off” and expected me to be fully self-sufficient, I went through a similar process. At first I was in complete denial that my parents would actually do such a thing until they refused to give me money. I was angry and thought it to be unfair. I was very unhappy for a while until I accepted my situation and embraced my independence. At this point in my life, I am currently creating a life for my future. I am just beginning to form my personal identity for who I am and who I am going to be. We as humans, spend years even decades shaping who we are and making meaningful, identifiable attachments to the world around us. Aging individuals are remembered for their careers, accomplishments, and successes. Once they arrive to the final stage of life, with less to look forward to, they struggle to keep the idea of who they used to be alive. Cowley mentions, “the men and women I envy are those who accept old age as a series of new challenges.” I believe that this is Cowley expressing his inability to let go of his old capabilities. I believe it is crucial to be able to let go of who you use to be and focus on who you are in the present moment. I struggled a lot with letting my old self go. I am a recovering addict and while I’ve been clean, I have had difficulty identifying who I am as a person with my past actions. I gained so much freedom from closing the door on my past but remembering those experiences to strengthen my future. For many, trying to maintain one’s old identity is an unfortunate reality, but there are those that embrace the new challenges of old age. Cowley’s essay, “A View from 80” gave me an entire new standpoint on aging people. After reflecting on his essay, I came to understand the trials and tribulations that the elderly experience. My once anxious demeanor in the presence of aging people has turned into a compassionate understanding of the internal struggles that they face. The elderly fight to keep their dignity, even though their roughest of needing on rely on others. The process of acceptance hat occurs in many aging individuals can be a painful experience of realizing one’s own limitations. Also, the crisis that some experience while trying to maintain their old identity of who they use to be. I was deeply moved by Cowley’s interpretation on these particular these processes.