Preview

A Study on the Psychological Concept of Codependency

Best Essays
Open Document
Open Document
3342 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
A Study on the Psychological Concept of Codependency
Is it Addiction to Love or Disease to Please?
Key words: codependence, personality, self, early childhood
The codependency concept initially originated and evolved within the field of addictions (Hands and Dear, 1995). And in recent years, there has been some increasing interest in using it to bridge the gap between additive behaviors, their impact on family members, and systemic analysis about family dysfunction. As a result, term ‘codependence’ prominences in the filed of mental health (Hogg & Frank, 1992). Cermak (1986) proposes that codependence is both a legitimate psychological concept and an important human disorder, in which symptom includes external focus, excessive caring for others and difficulty in identifying the true self. By studying theory of codependency, I have introspected a lot, finding that some of my own personality traits fit well with the description of ‘codependency’. The project will be divided into four parts. Firstly, the project starts with the introduction and distinction of two co-related terms: love addition and codependence disease, with illustration of my own love experience during adolescence. Then, it comes to analysis the manifestation of codependence behaviors, especially related to the term of shame and dissociated self. Thirdly, this project will explore how children’s experience during early childhood impacts his or her disposition of being ‘codependent’. Finally, several critical approaches to the theory will be presented. In Women who love too much (1985), Robin Norwood describes women who gain their sense of mission by loving broken, emotionally needy man at expense of self-sacrifice and who blur the boundary of romantic love and suffering itself. She also notes that sometimes, it is through over-involvement in a one-sided, even destructive relation can women achieve sense of control and strength (ibid.).

That makes me connect with my own experience. Adam and I fell in love in high school. He was such a

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Powerful Essays

    Although much of Cloud and Townsend’s (1999) approach to relational health could be easily applied to most human relationships, as the title of the book implies, marriage is the context from which their thesis is explained. Marriage, they contend, is “first and foremost about love” (Cloud and Townsend, 1999, p.9). However, as they are quick to point out, love by itself is simply not enough for a marriage to thrive. They suggest love is assaulted and effectively weakened when freedom and responsibility problems are present within the marital relationship. Additionally, they assert that freedom and responsibility are two vital elements necessary for a healthy and loving marriage relationship. When freedom and responsibility are present within a relationship…

    • 1370 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    In the essay “The Radical Idea of marrying for Love,” Stephanie Coontz voices her opinion on George Shaw theory, the expectations of love and how it has changed over time. Shaw believes that marriage is “an institution that brings together two people under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive and most transient of passions (Coontz 378). Marriage overtime had different variations depending the time frame in which it was in, and the culture that influenced it.…

    • 1173 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    In her relationship with Jody Starks - her second marriage - she is physically abused many times. Jody saw this as assurance he had control. Today, every one in four women are abused because women have been known to be seen as more of objects than actual people. It was not until 1900 that the New York’s Married Women’s Property Act of 1848 was passed in every state granting married women ‘some’ control and rights to their property and earnings. There is a stereotype for women that still exists today expressing the idea that women are not capable of all of the things men have been said to be.…

    • 1833 Words
    • 8 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    The word love brings us many meanings. But how do we learn to love? Is it something that we born with, like kind of pre-programmed behaviour or is it a something that we learn during our development? Do we bound to others because of something that we receive on exchange or the constant proximity forms the bound?…

    • 2075 Words
    • 9 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Powerful Essays

    This study was a qualitative thematic analysis to see if there was any evidence in early relationships that then affects the adult attachment theory. The qualitative textual analysis was carried out on a pre-existing, edited, filmed semi-structured interview. The thematic analysis showed that there is some truth in the adult attachment theory but life experiences and circumstances also have an effect on the individual. Furthermore relationships can play an important part in our lives with some evidence showing that Bowlby’s theory has some validity, (as cited in Cooper and Roth 2007, p37).…

    • 2618 Words
    • 11 Pages
    Powerful Essays
  • Good Essays

    Bowlby Attachment Theory

    • 493 Words
    • 2 Pages

    In the 1980s, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver were able to garner a lot of attention, then, when they turned attachment theory on adult relationships. In their studies, they looked at a number of couples, examining the nature of the attachments between them, and then observed how those couples reacted to various stressors and stimuli. In the case of adults, it would seem that a strong attachment is still quite important. For example, in cases where the adults had a weak attachment, there were feelings of inadequacy on the part of both parties. When attachments were too strong, there were issues with co-dependency. The relationships functioned best when both parties managed to balance intimacy with independence. Much as is the case with developing children, the ideal situation seemed to be an attachment that functioned as a secure base from which to reach out and gain experience in the world.…

    • 493 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Wedding Attachment Theory

    • 462 Words
    • 2 Pages

    Attachment theory describes the common human need to cultivate long-lasting affectional bonds with primary caretakers. According to Corsini and Wedding (2014), John Bowlby proposed that humans have an innate tendency to make strong affectional bonds and that separation or threat of separation of these bonds causes emotional distress, sadness, and in some cases more severe depression. A secure attachment comes from what the caretaker provides such as communication, security and availability. However, if the caretaker is not responding to the needs of the child, is not available, does not provide security or only communicates with the child in a negative way, this will create an insecure attachment. “Insecurely attached adolescents perceive the expression of negative feelings as unwelcome and unsafe, which reinforces the negative schema of self and others and thus makes the vulnerable to depression” (Diamond, Siqueland, & Diamond, 2003, pg. 109).…

    • 462 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Theories of Attachments

    • 877 Words
    • 4 Pages

    If the child’s first relationship is loving, the child develops the ability to love, if not, adult relationships will be unsatisfactory…

    • 877 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    Women were portrayed to be desperate for companion, a hunger for control with a streak of jealous behavior. But, they are also compelled to be caretakers.…

    • 1296 Words
    • 6 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    The effects of codependency can have on adult relationships are that they cannot maintain a healthy relationship because the lack of intimacy with their significant others. They detach themselves from others; they do not talk and confront their problems, touch, feel or trust anyone, and then they feel hopeless of themselves. It can benefit the co-dependent person if she/he seeks help because they can escape from this unhealthy life, and fulfill a new healthy life and relationship with others. As well as, they can start to feel the feelings that were ignored and denied during their childhood.…

    • 97 Words
    • 1 Page
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    “The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.” (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie) The claim that all women desire the same thing is going to stereotype a whole gender. Dennis Prager’s explores this generalization in his editorial “What do Women Want?” He bases his whole argument around one simple statement, “What a woman most wants is to be loved by a man she admires.” Prager describes the archetype of an admirable man based on the three qualities of strength, integrity, and ambition. His editorial, however accurate at some points, makes an incorrect assertion of what women really want the most. The evidence he uses to back up his argument is completely centered around men, making the assumption that women’s security lies in whether or not the man she marries is admirable. This does not take all the women who are unmarried, or do not even have an interest in men into…

    • 830 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Bowlby in 1969 proposed the internal working model which suggested that early childhood experiences would determine the adult relationships that child would have in the future. Infants primary attachment style is carried through into adult life so would expect the same expectations in later relationships. Shaver et al suggested three behavioural systems that are acquired in infancy which are attachment which is related to Bowlbys research, care giving where infants learn to care for each other through modelling the behaviour of the primary attachment figure and sexuality systems which is learnt in relation to early attachment so an individual with avoidant attachment will be more likely to hold the view that sex without love is pleasurable. In some extreme cases a child’s internal working model leads them to develop an attachment disorder which means they would resist or reject the mutual intimacy of loving family relationships. Often these disorders occur due to abuse and neglect during infancy which has led to them not developing a close relationship with someone who can comfort and reassure them. Springer et al. in 2007 found that individuals who experience physical abuse have negative effects on adult…

    • 608 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Bowlby was attempting to understand the extreme distress from infants, who had been separated from their parents, which left the infants in discomfort. A child’s attachment to their main caregiver creates a feel of security, therefore the child has the ability to seek out the world with determination, and without the feeling of being threaten or a exposure. The bond between an infants and their main caregiver results in how they will later get along with their peers, or how well they do in school, and how they will act to stressful situations. The cases where an infant doesn’t receive any attachment bond from a caregiver, which can lead to many problem into that infant’s adulthood. Depression and anxiety is the main factors for not having an attachment and leads to social phobia. This paper was about the differences between a child who has a bond with their main caregiver, and a child who doesn’t have a bond or has no main caregiver. My thought was a child without a caregiver will likelyhood have relationship issues with another human being or…

    • 795 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    John Bowlby was a mid-twentieth-century English psychologist who was known all over the world for putting a scientific label to motherly love and its importance to a child. He called his evidences Attachment Theory. Bowlby’s thesis was that the success of all relationships in life is dependent on the success of the first one, specifically the bond between the infant or small child and his mother or primary guardian. As unemotional as the sound of the word “attachment” may sound, it defines a phenomenon that a mother’s love does so only imperfectly and that is the mutual love of a mother or guardian a child for each other. There is no other way to express the term “motherly love”. No term in English exists to describe the other side of the equation of “motherly love”, the love of a child for its parent. Bowlby furthered his theory to cover not just the bond between a mother or guardian and their child, but all human relationships involving an emotional connection between one person and another.…

    • 780 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In order to anticipate changes in business, management should build an appropriate strategic plan. Focusing on a company’s core competencies establishes a unique integrated system that competitors cannot replicate. By the definition as Prahalad and Hamel (1990) stated, core competency is a collective knowledge about how to combine company’s diverse resources, technologies and know-how. As the foundation of competitive advantages for enterprise gaining long-term stability, core competence has both strengths and weakness.…

    • 946 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays