A Modest Proposal to Drinking and Driving
Tyler Jaynes
Dr. McDonald
English 112
March 2, 2010
A Modest Proposal to Drinking and Driving
Drinking and driving is a gift put on earth by the almighty God. I mean why wouldn’t it be possible if he didn’t want us to do it? Alcohol is the greatest past time in Earth’s history. What’s not great about it? It can lead to vomiting, passing out, waking up in random people’s beds, and sometimes even death. Isn’t that four of the greatest feelings in the world? The death part mostly comes from the beautiful cause of drinking and driving. But don’t listen to what statistics say, keep doing it, because you know what they say, “Practice makes perfect.” There’s nothing better than getting into a car after fifteen beers and running head on into a tree and killing yourself. Unfortunately, the general population or I like the thought of someone getting behind the wheel under the influence and taking the lives of the innocent. So I’ve came up with a modest proposal to put an end to drinking and driving. I know what you’re thinking; what kind of ignorant ideas does a person like me have to offer to this problem? But I promise if these actions are applied, there will be a complete end to the treacherous idea of drinking and driving. First off, law enforcement would drive around to random parties and steak out for people trying to drive under the influence. If they catch them and they blow over the limit, they will be tazed until they drop unconscious to the ground, then pop all of the tires on their car. As an alternative, instead of wasting time with a steak out, cops could blow up all the cars in the area of the party. Maybe that will teach the drinkers to take a taxi or a bus. Now unfortunately, there’s always going to be those people who make it behind the wheel. This is very dangerous to the person driving, but more dangerous to the public who’s actually doing the right thing. So for a solution to that problem, whoever is caught shall be sent to
Dr. McDonald
English 112
March 2, 2010
A Modest Proposal to Drinking and Driving
Drinking and driving is a gift put on earth by the almighty God. I mean why wouldn’t it be possible if he didn’t want us to do it? Alcohol is the greatest past time in Earth’s history. What’s not great about it? It can lead to vomiting, passing out, waking up in random people’s beds, and sometimes even death. Isn’t that four of the greatest feelings in the world? The death part mostly comes from the beautiful cause of drinking and driving. But don’t listen to what statistics say, keep doing it, because you know what they say, “Practice makes perfect.” There’s nothing better than getting into a car after fifteen beers and running head on into a tree and killing yourself. Unfortunately, the general population or I like the thought of someone getting behind the wheel under the influence and taking the lives of the innocent. So I’ve came up with a modest proposal to put an end to drinking and driving. I know what you’re thinking; what kind of ignorant ideas does a person like me have to offer to this problem? But I promise if these actions are applied, there will be a complete end to the treacherous idea of drinking and driving. First off, law enforcement would drive around to random parties and steak out for people trying to drive under the influence. If they catch them and they blow over the limit, they will be tazed until they drop unconscious to the ground, then pop all of the tires on their car. As an alternative, instead of wasting time with a steak out, cops could blow up all the cars in the area of the party. Maybe that will teach the drinkers to take a taxi or a bus. Now unfortunately, there’s always going to be those people who make it behind the wheel. This is very dangerous to the person driving, but more dangerous to the public who’s actually doing the right thing. So for a solution to that problem, whoever is caught shall be sent to