Letter of Advice
Letter of Advice
In the healthiest of environments, people advance from ‘relationship’ to ‘engaged’ status because two people have mutually acknowledged each other, have common understandings, and act with the other person’s concerns in mind. A relationship, be it for marriage, friends or business, requires a domain of actions and an assessment that your partner is worth trust because they act with the intention to take care and not betray shared concerns. One of those elements is the interpersonal communication between the people in the relationship. When communicating effectively, there is a behavioral coordination that results from the coupling between two people in such a way that the relationship can limit the drift of day-to-day life, and move with effective communication practices that will address fundamental concerns.
The bedrock of effective interpersonal communication is to first know who ‘you’ are. Review and understanding of your self-concept, self-image, self-esteem, and personality will allow for greater spaces for possibility to understand the same elements of your partner. Interpersonal communication involves both verbal and nonverbal communication and both of these communication types can be expressed in a variety of different ways.
One aspect to clearly understand is that communication is complex because it involves two or more people to be in a dance of coordinated action that will take care of concerns and/or fulfill the narrative of the future. Communication is also continuous; to be most effective in the domain of interpersonal communication there is a requirement of recurrence, recursion and reciprocation. Communication is also dynamic in that the action requires the embodiment of practices that allow you to transform between public, private and behavioral queues with your significant other.
Equally important to remember is the misconception that communication cannot transform interpretation. Languaging is a linguistic coordination of linguistic coordination’s, a domain of descriptions of descriptions that refer back to themselves for meaning. Our classroom text asserts that we cannot exactly repeat something we have said in the past. Even if our words are the same – the tome of voice and other characteristics such as posturing and tone will differ- and the listener will also have a different impression (sole, K. 2011). Communication is also irreversible in that we cannot take back our words once spoken. This is why it is very important to be conscious of what you are saying in moments of anger when you might say something that you may later regret.
The harmonious combination of two different points of view can certainly be viewed as a barrier to effective interpersonal communication because balance between the two is not always achieved. Common communication problems in relationships are assessed as: 1) Silence or refusal to speak; 2) giving into the other person at a cost of self or the relationship (also known as placating); and 3) psychological requests or reports – which is essentially the announcement of a feeling, emotion, or state of being without any commitment to act from the assessment produced an/or speaking without regard for the truth to fulfill a concealed agenda.
Let’s face it – the silent treatment is more often than not a way of inflicting pain on the other person, or to get them as angry or disappointed as you are. Either way, there are no good outcomes possible for effectiveness to be achieved. Giving in to your significant others demands can defuse a negative situation, however, over the long term you can loose who your ‘self’ is and the foundation of the relationship can begin to become eroded. Visions of virtues, what is a good life, beliefs, and what is important for being taken care of can be lost subconsciously...
References: Bower, B. (2010, November). Shared talking styles herald new and lasting romance. U.S. News & World Report, 1. Retrieved from ABI/INFORM Global on July 22, 2011. Document ID:2223940991
NARA SCHOENBERG. (2011, February 6). Can we talk? Researcher talks about the role of communication in marriages. Houston Chronicle,p. 7. Retrieved July 28, 2011, from ProQuest Newsstand. (Document ID: 2260839481).
Nathan Miczo, Chris Segrin, & Lisa E Allspach. (2001). Relationship between nonverbal sensitivity, encoding, and relational satisfaction. Communication Reports, 14(1), 39-48. Retrieved July 25, 2011, from Research Library. (Document ID: 72022836).
Preston, P. (2005). Nonverbal communication: Do you reallynsay what you mean? Journal of Healthcare Management, 50(2), 83-6. Retrieved from ABI/INFORM Global. Document ID: 814698921
Sole, K. (2011). Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education, Inc. (https://content.ashford.edu)
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