Value Essay: Am I Valued And Valuable?

Am I Valued and Valuable?

This is one of the most critical questions to ask ourselves to pave the way for purposeful living as we age. This is tricky because the answer to this question has been well defined as we were successful and capable in our jobs and felt marginally competent as a parent, child, sibling, and other family member.

So, this was “cooked in” to our many roles throughout our growing years and adulthood.

But as an elder, there are fewer automatic judgement points due to the lack of work involvement and a new role as we have aged within the family structure.

To really answer the Value question, it is necessary to ponder these questions, as well:

How do others see me? and Do others GAIN from me?

I became convinced a long
All of this makes the prospect of assessing where we come out in the view of others pretty sketchy, I know.

This is compounded by the reality that I/we cannot always know with any clarity just how people really feel. This is because others around us can be secretive and, often, guarded with their genuine feelings about us.

For many reasons, people tend to “tell us what they think that we want to hear” or purposefully obfuscate their real feelings because of social or power feelings and
I do want to get an objective handle on the impact of who I am (i.e., how I behave) and how others profit or fail to profit from that way of being. It is only in approximating that imperfect sense that I can select my actions into the future – increasing, decreasing, or even revamping entirely.

And here we are at the core of my point.

My value in living in this lifetime derives, I think, entirely by my ability to impact the lives of others. To the degree that this is a positive impact, I have lived a good life. To the degree that I have had a negative impact, well, the opposite is also true.

Well, this does now get to the very purpose of my being.

I know (not just “believe”, because that’s too light a word) that my meaningfulness in this world is solely judged by degree and depth of my impact on others and that says a mouthful.

Yes, we are all part of a great whole – humanity. Just as in small celled organism, we are dependent on each other for survival. And, I would add, we are here to collectively support individual happiness within EVERY member of society, not just our own.

I’d go so far as to say that my own happiness is critical to who I am. But, my happiness is impossible unless all others surrounding and associating with me are happy, too.

Well, more on this in my next book.

What Legacy do I choose to leave