10 October 2012
Hunger a feeling of discomfort or weakness caused by lack of food or desire to eat. A constant fight that Lamott had with food of etheir eating it or throwing it up because of personal image and not felling comfortable with the image you see in the mirror. Lamott was a very energetic girl, always hungry, always eating and always thin. At age thirteen she was 100 pounds but in one year gained 30 pounds and that’s where the problems begin, as her father was a victim of cancer she finaly discovered she was a victim of bulimia. Bulimia being the emotional disorder in which bouts of extreme overeating are followed by depression and self- induced vomiting, purging or fasting, these were clearly actions lamott took and were her daily actions. As her problems of control, alcohol and bulimia she finds the ticket to freedom for her problems. The ticket being that Rita Groszmann a eating disorder specialist who would guide her throughout the day and asked her if she was hungry or what hunger felt like, but Lamott just responded that “it was time to eat” which she didn’t experience hunger until age 33.
Lamotts problems began at a young age as she described her actions,” this is the story of how, at the age of 33, I learned to feed myself. To begin with, here is what I did until then, I ate, starved, binged, grew fat, grew thin, grew fat, grew thin, binged, grew thinner”(221). One problem she had was bulimia which she discovered it when her father was found with brain cancer,” one week after my father was diagnosed with brain cancer I discovered bulimia, I felt like I discovered the secret of life because you could eat yourself into a state of emotional numbness but not gain weight, then I learned how to do it more effectively by reading articles in woman’s magazine on how to stop doing it. I barfed, but preferred laxitives. It was heaven I lost weight(222)”. This tells us how Lamott discovered of how easy it was to do the same things over and over even knowing the bad side of her actions. On the other hand not having a father or mother on your side can be a life obstacle as for Lamott her father was her everything because that’s all she had to count on, love, talk and be there when she needed someone for support and advice, but when he was diagnosed with cancer and was no longer around Lamott lost control and that’s when her eating disorder worsen day by day. Until one day in 1987 she grew weaker and more desperate until she called a eating disorder specialist named Rita Groszmann, she told her the first time she contacted her that she had no money, but Rita having experience knew she would be in danger if she didn’t come to her office so she offered free services. The first day Lamott was in the office she said,” I explained how I’d gotten started and that I wasn’t ready to stop but that I was getting ready to be ready to stop. She said it was fine. I said that in fact I was going home that very night and eat chocolates and Mexican food and then purge. She said fine. I said,” don’t try to stop me .”she said ,”ok. ”I said,” there is nothing you can do to stop me, it’s the way it is”(223).
Lamotts alcohol problem was a major one as she would drink often because she loved the affects that alcohol had on her while she was on it. When someone is under alcohol, it plays a big role in which it plays with your mind, emotions, and feelings and that’s why people seem to get talkative, laugh a lot or even cry. Those were the effects Lamott loved to experience before the light in her brained turned on and shortly after she knew that wasn’t a good choice as she said ,”I felt that when I got sober. God had saved me from drowning, but now I was going to get kicked to death on the beach. Its so much hipper to be drunk than bulimic. Drunks are like bikers or wrestlers: bulimics are baton twirlers, gymnast. The voice would say how sorry it was, but then glanced down at its watch,...
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