This Will Hurt Short Story
This Will Hurt.
“I’m almost completely certain that it is herpes,” the kind urgent care doctor says to me. In this moment, the floodgates of tears I’d been fighting so hard to keep back open up. “I’m so sorry. But we’ll know for certain in a few days.”
She sends the prescription to the pharmacy and I do my best to not cry in the lobby. This was the worst birthday ever.
During the days leading up to my 19th birthday, I was crippled by what I thought was nothing more than an awful UTI. I did everything I knew to help ease the symptoms. From drinking an entire gallon of cranberry juice in one day to over the counter pain meds specifically formulated for UTI related discomfort. All these did was turn my pee bright red and further sink my spirits.
Trying to pee created a stabbing, burning pain- not to mention the fact that I constantly had to pee. I shed a lot of tears during those days… But nothing compared to the tears I shed once the lumps appeared. I knew this was not a UTI…
So many sleepless nights. And in my heart I knew I had contracted herpes from all of my late night Web-Mding. I hoped it was something less severe, something I could get rid of and forget about.
After countless days …show more content…
That I have spread this to the person I love, and that’s changed how he feels about me. I carry the fear of being alone because of my disease, that I won’t be able to have kids and not pass it to them too. Not only do I carry these personal worries, but I carry the fear of social stigma- because people don’t talk about herpes. Even though I have the kind that manifests as cold sores, it’s still herpes all the same. Very few people in my life know about my diagnosis, and I see no reason to change this. I want to control what I carry as best as I can, and if I can avoid as much social stigma as possible- I will. I don’t want people to see or treat me differently because I have this, but I know they
“I’m almost completely certain that it is herpes,” the kind urgent care doctor says to me. In this moment, the floodgates of tears I’d been fighting so hard to keep back open up. “I’m so sorry. But we’ll know for certain in a few days.”
She sends the prescription to the pharmacy and I do my best to not cry in the lobby. This was the worst birthday ever.
During the days leading up to my 19th birthday, I was crippled by what I thought was nothing more than an awful UTI. I did everything I knew to help ease the symptoms. From drinking an entire gallon of cranberry juice in one day to over the counter pain meds specifically formulated for UTI related discomfort. All these did was turn my pee bright red and further sink my spirits.
Trying to pee created a stabbing, burning pain- not to mention the fact that I constantly had to pee. I shed a lot of tears during those days… But nothing compared to the tears I shed once the lumps appeared. I knew this was not a UTI…
So many sleepless nights. And in my heart I knew I had contracted herpes from all of my late night Web-Mding. I hoped it was something less severe, something I could get rid of and forget about.
After countless days …show more content…
That I have spread this to the person I love, and that’s changed how he feels about me. I carry the fear of being alone because of my disease, that I won’t be able to have kids and not pass it to them too. Not only do I carry these personal worries, but I carry the fear of social stigma- because people don’t talk about herpes. Even though I have the kind that manifests as cold sores, it’s still herpes all the same. Very few people in my life know about my diagnosis, and I see no reason to change this. I want to control what I carry as best as I can, and if I can avoid as much social stigma as possible- I will. I don’t want people to see or treat me differently because I have this, but I know they