Things Fall Apart

3/4/2013
B Pd.
Every society has a unique manner of handling certain aspects of life. In both Things Fall Apart and Don’t Let’s Go To The Dogs Tonight, children are lost in different ways: physically and emotionally. Sometimes the problem is a death of a baby, while other times what is lost is a connection rather than a heartbeat. While some characters struggle to deal with these unpleasant events, others are able to move past them gracefully. Okonkwo and his family look at the loss of children more objectively while the Fullers let the bereavement change their entire lives. In both books characters must deal with the grief of losing a child, but in Things Fall Apart characters are much less affected emotionally than the family in Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight. With most other men in his tribe, a lack of emotion portrays superiority. Okonkwo first shows his strength when he acts unfazed by the killing of his adopted son. Ikemefuna was secretly adored by his father figure, yet Okonkwo would never admit it to the boy. In fact he even killed Ikemefuna so not to show a lack of discipline and objectivity. This proves that the loss of a child is not a life altering occurrence in his culture. Along with Ikemefuna’s death, Ekwefi, one of Okonkwo’s wives, has to deal with the loss of many babies due to miscarriage. She is hurt by these incidents but believes it is the curse of the Coming Back Babies. Ekwefi even names them each symbolically for their impending deaths. In spite of everything, she does not seem horribly affected by the calamities which occur. After her third child dies, she does become a bit resentful as she watches her husband’s other wives have strong child after child, but that is mere jealously rather than grief. Achebe says “by the time Onwumbiko died, Ekwefi had become a very bitter woman.” Her reaction is fair, but she does not let the deaths define her. Probably the most ground shaking loss is when Nwoye leaves his clan to join the Christian men. Instead of being upset by this, Okonkwo rejects his son. Obstinately, he does not mourn the estrangement and chooses simply to go on with his life. After Nwoye leaves, Okonkwo warns his five other sons that “he is no longer my son or your brother. I will only have a son who is a man, who will hold his head up among my people” (172). This brings to the light the fact that there is not much of an impact on him or his family. In fact, the loss helps Okonkwo prove his strength. Forgetting about all of his losses is exactly the opposite of what occurs in Don’t Let’s Go to The Dogs Tonight.
Contrary to the beliefs of Okonkwo, The Fullers fully submerge themselves in the deaths of each of their offspring. The family loses three young babies, two soon after birth and one as a toddler. After the first child, Adrian, dies, Nicola Fuller begins falling apart. At this point, Bobo is not yet born. When she is told about Adrian, she is not quite old enough to comprehend what has happened and misinterprets the incident, telling Duncan that he died “because Mum and Dad took Vanessa for lunch when he was in the hospital” (89). The next two losses though, she understands. The impact of Olivia’s accidental passing shatters the hearts of each of the Fullers. Alexander Fuller writes about the remorse she feels as a result of her sister’s death. Fuller portrays her guilt when she says “I let Olivia drown” (90). Readers are able to feel compassion toward her as a young child, and even as an adult still lugging around the same emotional burden. The extent of the pain felt by the family is unimaginable and Alexandra Fuller shows this by titling the next chapter “Afterward,” as if to say that their lives revolve around Olivia. It is parallel to using the dates B.C. and A.D to refer to before and after Christ’s death. The dynamic of the family changes drastically after each passing, and continues to grow with each occurrence. The impact is felt throughout the entire book and the babies are never forgotten. Nicola Fuller, or Mum, is probably the most affected character; rightfully so, as she carries each baby for nine months and no sooner has their precious lives ripped from her. The entire book is overflowing with copious amounts of mournfulness and grief.
Though the reactions of the characters in Things Fall Apart are very dissimilar to those in Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight, the loss of children is a prevalent theme. On one side, the members of the Igbo clan suffer from only a small window of grief, if any at all, while conversely the Fullers endure the mourning eternally and are never quite able to propel themselves past their sorrow. While it is socially acceptable in the clan to move quickly beyond the sadness, it would be frowned upon by the peers of the Fullers to continue life without the gloom. In retrospect, it is possible that Nicola Fuller blames Africa for the losses she suffers. When Richard dies, she says “that’s what happens with you have a baby in a free African country” (193). Although it is partially her fault due to the fact that she does not take care of herself, she forces the blame elsewhere. This impacts the way the loss affects her as well as her family. Okonkwo, oppositely, does not choose to blame anyone when he kills Ikemefuna, as well as when Nwoye leaves. Ekwefi does blame a curse for her losses but she is able to progress her life and any sadness she may feel is quickly diluted. The loss of a child is a struggle for anyone, yet some can move beyond the void he or she feels while others grapple with the deficit eternally.