Gary C. Sanders, Sr.
Professor Thomas Dunn, Instructor
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
I was most impressed with Professor Robert J. Sternberg’s Theory of love which simply states that love is made up of three interconnected components: intimacy, passion and decision/commitment. They are thought of as the triangular effect that displays intimacy in terms of closeness, bonding and warmth. It also shows passion as the sexual feelings and desires brought on and it shows commitment as the decision to make the relationship continue on. I really was touched by this theory because it is so relative to my life now. I am married almost five years now and my marriage has seen a multiplicity of ups and downs. However, after considering this model and theory of love and discussing with my wife, we have resolved to find ways and utilize this model to strengthen our relationship.
Through his three components and the combination of these three components Professor Steinberg came up essentially with eight types of loving. He named non-love, liking, infatuated love, empty love, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love and consummate love. I will seek to explain how each of these components relates to my personal life now and my previous life before marriage.
With regard to the first component nonlove it refers to the absence of all three components. In my youngest days, just beginning to date and really recognizing what it was all about, I bounced from one relationship to another. They had no meaning and definitely no love. The second component in Steinberg’s theory is liking and it occurs when we just have intimacy, such as in friendships. I experienced this during surprisingly in my high school years more than when I was grown. The third component is infatuation and this part occurs when we only have passion, such as in love at first sight. I don’t believe there is such a thing as love at first sight. I think we become...
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