Theories Of Attachment Styles

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Attachment Theories and Parenting Styles Humans are social beings and need to be with others and form relationships but our relationship behaviors do not "come naturally" and they need to be learned similar to other social skills (Schneider, Gruman & Coutts, 2005, p.77). Many psychologists argue that the kind of relationships infants have with their primary caregivers is the blueprint for the later life relationships (Schneider, Gruman & Coutts, 2005). Behaviors in adult relationships' are influenced by the kinds of relationships and attachments they have experienced in their early years with their primary caregivers. This is the basic perspective of the theory of attachment styles that claims that the kind of bonds we form early in life influence …show more content…
For instance a child that had a secure attachment with their caregivers would be able to develop lasting relationships as adults. Contrary a child who had an avoidant attachment with their caregivers would have difficulty creating long lasting relationships and would have difficulty to trust others. Research has been able to confirm that our adult relationships are shaped by our early patterns of attachment and with the ways of dealing with closeness, separation and love (Schneider, Gruman & Coutts, 2005). Furthermore Bartholomew (1990) identified four styles of adult attachment that are derived from the two dimensions that have to do with our self-image and image of others (Schneider, Gruman & Coutts, 2005; Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991). For the dimension of self-image and image of others there are two levels which are the positive and negative and the combination of them composing the four patterns of adult attachment styles. Additionally this model, as indicated in the figure, includes the dimensions of dependency on the horizontal axis and avoidance on the vertical axis and both vary from low to high (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991; Ma, 2006). For instance the secure adult attachment style based on this model is characterized by positive self-image with low …show more content…
Personally as a child I developed a secure attachment with my parents as they were responsive to my needs and caring, they were there when I needed them and they provided me with reassurance to explore my environment. As an adult I have been able to develop lasting relationships and I am comfortable with closeness, trusting untitled11.bmpothers, and interdependence. When considering others from my close environment I also can relate their relationship patterns with the attachment theory and this appears helpful to better understand them. For instance a close friend of mine and previous colleague seems she has developed a preoccupied attachment style and this could explain her pattern of relationships thus far in her life. She has an anxious/ambivalent attachment style with her parents as a result of their job obligations, and their personalities were inconsistent regarding their affection towards her. As an adult she developed a preoccupied attachment style and she exhibits this attachment style towards both her friendships and intimate relationships. Particularly when it comes to her intimate relationships this type of attachment style is possibly responsible for her two divorces within a five year time frame and her being less satisfied with her romantic relationships. Whenever she entered into a

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