ALSO BY JOHN GREEN
Looking for Alaska An Abundance of Katherines Paper Towns Will Grayson, Will Grayson WITH DAVID LEVITHAN
DUTTON BOOKS | An imprint of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
A MEMBER OF PENGUIN GROUP (USA) INC. Published by the Penguin Group | Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New Y ork, New Y ork 10014, U.S.A. | Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Av enue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y 3, Canada (a div ision of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) | Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England | Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a div ision of Penguin Books Ltd) | Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a div ision of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) | Penguin Books India Pv t Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India | Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Driv e, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a div ision of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) | Penguin Books (South Af rica) (Pty ) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Av enue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Af rica | Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Of f ices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England This book is a work of f iction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used f ictitiously , and any resemblance to actual persons, liv ing or dead, business establishments, ev ents, or locales is entirely coincidental. Copy right © 2012 by John Green All rights reserv ed. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic f orm without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copy righted materials in v iolation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions. Published simultaneously in Canada. The publisher does not hav e any control ov er and does not assume any responsibility f or author or third-party websites or their content. CIP Data is av ailable. Published in the United States by Dutton Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. 345 Hudson Street, New Y ork, New Y ork 10014 www.penguin.com/teen Designed by Irene Vanderv oort ISBN 978-1-101-56918-4
TO ESTHER EARL
EPIGRAPH AUTHOR’S NOTE CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE CHAPTER TEN CHAPTER ELEVEN CHAPTER TWELVE CHAPTER THIRTEEN CHAPTER FOURTEEN CHAPTER FIFTEEN CHAPTER SIXTEEN CHAPTER SEVENTEEN CHAPTER EIGHTEEN CHAPTER NINETEEN CHAPTER TWENTY CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
As the tide washed in, the Dutch Tulip Man faced the ocean: “Conjoiner rejoinder poisoner concealer revelator. Look at it, rising up and rising down, taking everything with it.” “What’s that?” I asked. “Water,” the Dutchman said. “Well, and time.”
—PETER VAN HOUTEN, An Imperial Affliction
This is not so much an author’s note as an author’s reminder of what was printed in small type a few pages ago: This book is a work of fiction. I made it up. Neither novels nor their readers benefit from attempts to divine whether any facts hide inside a story. Such efforts attack the very idea that made-up stories can matter, which is sort of the foundational assumption of our species. I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.
Late in the winter of my seventeenth year, my mother decided I was depressed, presumably because I rarely left the house, spent quite a lot of time in bed, read the same book over and over, ate infrequently, and devoted quite a bit of my abundant free time to thinking about death. Whenever you read a cancer booklet or website or whatever, they always list depression among the side effects of cancer. But, in fact, depression is not a side effect of cancer. Depression is a side effect of dying. (Cancer is also a side effect of dying. Almost everything is, really.) But my mom...
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