Steve Freeling: A Short Story

Steve Freeling, the sixty-seven-year-old sheriff of Maricopa County sat in his office. His mind was on a recent string of murders that exhibited markers of cannibalism.

The door opened and his thirty-nine-year-old daughter Carol Anne Freeling, who was also one of his deputies stuck her head in.

"Dad, there's been another murder. The victim's brain, tongue, and heart are missing. We're thinking cannibalism."

Steve hadn't changed much, even over the course of thirty years. He'd lost six pounds but no height, leaving him at six-three-and-a-half and one-hundred eighty pounds. He had the same dark brown hair and blue eyes he'd had ever since his hair gradually turned from blond when he was fifteen. Thirty years. That was how long it had been
He thought that this had better be good.

"Sheriff Freeling, I'm Special Agent Clarice Starling with the FBI. I've been told you suspect cannibalism in a recent string of murders."

"Agent Starling, we think it might be Dr. Hannibal Lecter from what we've learned about him. We were just about to go see the body of the latest victim, Ben Tuthill."

"I had all of the bodies sent to the FBI lab in Quantico for Special Agent Dana Scully, M.D. to do the autopsies."

"This is an FBI investigation because of the Lecter suspicion, isn't it?"

"Actually, it's a joint Police/FBI investigation."

"Come on, let's go."

An hour later, on the way to Alcatraz in Los Angeles, California, Steve and Carol Anne had been briefed on the whole case, which they largely already knew. He already knew about Fox Mulder, the X-Files and Freddy Krueger.

In the prison, the aging sheriff caught sight of Freddy Krueger. Agents Mulder and Scully walked over to
It's time to interrogate the suspect."

Freeling looked Krueger directly in the eyes.

"What do you know about Lecter? Better yet, what do you know about Thomas Hewitt? Tell the truth, you son of a bitch."

Meanwhile, in a hotel room in Austin, Texas, forty-one-year-old Robbie Freeling, while just about to get laid, got a call on his cellphone and answered.

"Mom?"

"Rob, you're on to the next blonde, aren't you?"

It was his forty-nine-year-old sister, Dana.

"Dana!" he pouted.

"Oh, come on, little brother. It was a lucky guess. You fuck as many girls as Hank Moody on Californication, motherfucker." She said the last word in the same manner David Duchovny often did on the popular Showtime television show.

The girl Robbie was with quickly dressed and left.

"Look. Look, damn it. She's my sister! Thanks a fuckin' lot, Dana. I was just about to get laid!"

"Rob, you need to get that sex addiction checked out."

"Dana, why are you so Goddamned sure it's a sex addiction?"

"Rob, how many girls have you fucked?"

"I stopped counting after a hundred."

In Alcatraz, Steve continued to interrogate Krueger.

"Tell the truth, you lying son of a bitch! What the hell do you know about