Reflective Journal #2
I was never the one who would fight for feminist issues. I am very conservative
person who likes to have the things the way they were decades ago. I love Helen Andelin
and her book "Fascinating womanhood." I wish I could have her lifestyle. I would love
to be a full-time wife and mother, to take care of my husband's needs and raise my
children on my own without any outside help. Unfortunately for me, life is not about that
Women nowadays have to be independent to feel secure and fulfilled. Me on the
other hand no. I don't want to have a career, I don't like to leave my baby at home when
mommy has to work. I have a hard time understanding women who say that they regret
being a stay-at-home mom. To be a stay-at-home mom is the luxury for me. I wish me
and my husband could afford it.
I also don't understand how women can work and men can be stay-at-home dads.
Why our roles switched so dramatically. Why can't there be a middle ground? Why do
we have to do extreme things that don't feel natural to me. There is the reason why
society have MEN things and WOMEN things, because we are so different. I am not
saying that one is better the other one is worse. Just different. I never saw a woman
competing with man on the Olympic games just because physically men are so much
stronger. In my lifetime I saw three families(American) with stay-at-home dads
unfortunately all of them ended up being divorced.
I don't understand it but I except it. Every one should live the life the way they
want. I just wish I wouldn't be judged based on my believes. I often get labeled as "lazy",
"no personality", "no self-esteem" when I share my thoughts. One might say I have to
resocialize to fit our new world. But I don't feel like it. I just want to be respected for who
I am. And I want women who consider themselves feminists remember that there are
those who like to be dependent, who like to serve their husband who find pleasure and
fulfillment in taking care of their family. The ones that don't feel like they have to have it
all and compete with the rest of the world.
Why I Regret Being a Stay-at-Home Mom
Written by Lisa Endlich Heffernan
The most expensive decision of my life I made alone. There was no realtor, no car dealer and no travel agent when I chose to leave the paid workforce. There was just me looking at my husband, my children and the chaos that was our lives. At no point did I calculate the lifetime impact of diminished earnings and prospects. I looked at the year we were in and the following year, and I bolted. No part of my brain sat itself down and thought, What is the price, both in this year's dollars and my lifetime earnings, to leaving the workforce, and is it a decision that I might regret a decade or two from now? At no point did I examine the non-monetary cost that would loom just as large. At the time, it seemed forgone: We had two demanding careers, two small children and another on the way, and two adult lives hopelessly out of control. One day I was working on the trading floor of a London bank and the next, I was on the floor of my children's playroom. Not once did I think, at age 33, of what the job market would look like for me a few years down the road. Therein lies my most expensive mistake. I stayed home with my kids because I wanted to be with them. I had a job that allowed me very little time with them on weekdays and I felt our time was short. I did not stay home because I believed they needed me or that the nanny I had hired could not do a great job. Now, on the downslope of parenting, I have misgivings about my decision to stay home. While I don't know any parent who regrets time spent with their kids, especially kids who have moved on to their own lives --...
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