Snowphone Swot Analysis
To: Mark Massen Instructor of MBA707-F1FF Franklin University
From: Chen Liu
Subject: Planning: Analyzing the situation; Media skills: Electronic presentation
Date: 10/08/2014
To: Mark Massen Instructor of MBA707-F1FF Franklin University
From: Chen Liu
Subject: Revising to improve
Date: 10/08/2014
Business Brief
Analysis of the message:
Strengths: This paragraph has strong verbs and adjectives. The writer uses some connection words in the content.
Weaknesses: There are some unnecessary and redundant sentence which need to be removed from the content. The word "Snowmobile" should not be capitalized. “the following aims, goals, and objectives.” is unnecessary to be point out since the sentences …show more content…
Consequently, our organization, which usually goes under the initials NAPMMA, has the following aims, goals, and objectives. Firstly, we endeavor to aid or assist our members in reaching their business objectives. Second, NAPMMA communicates (“lobbying” in slang terms) with local, state, and national governmental agencies and leaders on issues of importance to our members. And lastly, we educate the motorsports public, that being current motorsports vehicle owners, and prospective owners of said vehicles, on the safe and enjoyable operation of they’re vehicles.
Revised Version:
The North American Personal Motorsports Association (NAPMMA) is a diverse group comprised of dealers of motorcycles, all-terrain vehicles, snowmobiles, and personal watercraft. NAPMMA lobbies with local, state, and national government agencies and leaders over the issues relevant to members. NAPMMA is committed to assisting members achieve their business
From: Chen Liu
Subject: Planning: Analyzing the situation; Media skills: Electronic presentation
Date: 10/08/2014
To: Mark Massen Instructor of MBA707-F1FF Franklin University
From: Chen Liu
Subject: Revising to improve
Date: 10/08/2014
Business Brief
Analysis of the message:
Strengths: This paragraph has strong verbs and adjectives. The writer uses some connection words in the content.
Weaknesses: There are some unnecessary and redundant sentence which need to be removed from the content. The word "Snowmobile" should not be capitalized. “the following aims, goals, and objectives.” is unnecessary to be point out since the sentences …show more content…
Consequently, our organization, which usually goes under the initials NAPMMA, has the following aims, goals, and objectives. Firstly, we endeavor to aid or assist our members in reaching their business objectives. Second, NAPMMA communicates (“lobbying” in slang terms) with local, state, and national governmental agencies and leaders on issues of importance to our members. And lastly, we educate the motorsports public, that being current motorsports vehicle owners, and prospective owners of said vehicles, on the safe and enjoyable operation of they’re vehicles.
Revised Version:
The North American Personal Motorsports Association (NAPMMA) is a diverse group comprised of dealers of motorcycles, all-terrain vehicles, snowmobiles, and personal watercraft. NAPMMA lobbies with local, state, and national government agencies and leaders over the issues relevant to members. NAPMMA is committed to assisting members achieve their business