Sidebottom Alternate Ending

“Don’t just stand there, you piece of rejected scrap. Get inside and please dispense with the gun!” Bulldozer obeyed. He threw the cannon into the dust cloud, killing off a few of the Matgars in the process and, with a leap, threw himself inside. “Right, let's go!” Sidebottom called out. “Sidebottom!” O’Donnell called out. “I’ll fly the ship this time!” “Not on your life!” Sidebottom roared back. “I’m enjoying this!” “It’s our lives you’re enjoying it with!” O’Donnell exclaimed. “Now, let me take control!” “What? And let you have the fun! No way!” Sidebottom roared the Centaur into the sky, away from the now dissipating dust cloud, straightening it out above a splattering of white, wispy cloud. “Sidebottom, I said I would
Forbes, with trepidation coursing through his veins, pressed one. They both jumped as the console flipped on its head, revealing two smaller consoles, each with a boomerang-shaped control stick with a firing switch on top. Across their white, smooth surfaces, three yellow buttons, each with titles, sat. Under the left one, it read, ‘Only Slightly Cripple.’ Under the middle one, it read, ‘Seriously Cripple.’ It was the last one which astonished them, for under it read the words, ‘Sidebottom’s Revenge.’ “Sidebottom’s Revenge? What does that mean?” Forbes asked. “You’ll find out,” Sidebottom replied. “Now, press one of the white buttons.” Below each set of yellow buttons stood one white button and below that the title, ‘Gunnery Activation.' Barnes pressed it. A sliding door on the outside surface slipped open, followed by a laser cannon rising from beneath the door's former position. Forbes did the same with the equivalent result. “That’s not all,” Sidebottom said, with cockiness. “You mean, there’s more?” O’Donnell asked, astonished. “Much more,” Sidebottom replied. “If you look at the port and starboard consoles, you’ll find six more red buttons. And, it gets
“He’s inside that big gun?” Woods asked. “Yes,” replied Sidebottom. “How does he get back down?” “He presses the same button,” “Did you tell him that before you launched him?” Forbes asked. “Um, no!” “What?” Forbes cried. But, before he could go any farther, Bulldozer pounded the hatchway. “Get him out of there!” The Captain cried. “Before he wrecks the ship!” Sidebottom spun towards the main console. To the further amazement of everyone on board, two telescopic arms shot out from both sides of his hovering disc, one reaching towards the console. Moments later, an irate Bulldozer reappeared, with eyes as crimson as a burning sun. “Calm yourself,” the Reverend said, as the seat settled. “Please let me kill him,” Bulldozer pleaded. “Just once. I’ll try to put him back together again, I promise.” Further to their amazement, Sidebottom's head and arms disappeared into the disc. The visual image of Bulldozer ripping him apart and what he might look like after Bulldozer tried to put him back together again, did not appeal to him one bit. “You forgot to press the button, you idiot!” His voice echoed from inside the disc. “I told you to press it