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Should Divorce Be Harder to Get?

By rebecav Oct 21, 2014 899 Words

Should we make divorce harder to get?

Growing up as a child, the first words that is often learned is “Mommy and Daddy”. These two groups of individuals are there to help grow and nurture the child for their well-being. Unfortunately, many parents are dealing or have dealt with the consequences of a divorce. Rich believes that about 40% of couples that divorce proceed on having one or both of them to reconcile, yet it effects certain areas in their lives. All of these situations can put harm towards the children, family and themselves.

Along with several studies by Scott and Arkowitz, most adults who were children of divorce experience serious problems such as depression and relationship issues. Several of those parents remain in an unhappy marriage because they believe it will protect their offspring from a divorce trauma. After the separation of both parents, children tend to have a poor adjustment dealing with high levels of conflicts between their parents. Only a minority of kids suffer longer than the vast majority of children that really undergo divorce well.

Additionally, considering that a lot of the 1.5 children in the U.S. whose parents have divorced feels as if their worlds were falling apart. Scott believes that a numerous amount of children experience short-term negative effects, especially in cases of anxiety, anger, shock and disbelief. Children are often unprepared when they are told about the upcoming news upon a divorce. They are either terrified from the news or relieved from their parents fighting in the

household. Even when a child goes through a nervous breakdown the parent should still be involved in that child’s life.

Many of these problems can be the effect of a parent’s inability to show love and offer their children stability when they need it the most. The child is the main focus, no one divorces the children they are the offspring not the cause of it. Some children overlook he idea of their parents getting a divorce as being their faults when really it’s not. Parents are only to blame themselves for divorcing and not their children.

Similarly, Divorce not only effects children, but can spread around family and close friends causing a rippling effect as Rich, sociologist from PEW research center, would say is a “Social Contagion”. The contagion of a divorce can diffuse amongst close family and friends just like a rumor on a social network. Behaviors start to change and people begin to act different towards each other, especially in a relationship. According to Rich it’s a never ending battle that could not be held if it isn’t being resolved. For their study, McDermott and her colleagues collected and used data from several rounds of interviews beginning in 1971 and ending in 2001. In the interviews everyone was either a close friend or a relative. The overall results were that divorce of a close relative or friend widely increased the probability, mainly about 75% of divorce rates today.

Perhaps a loved one or close friend is going through a divorce, what exactly should you say? Can one mention “I know how you feel” or will that be too overbearing. Throughout one’s divorce, there is a time of stress and unwanted grieve. Shelley (correspondent) mentions that the hardest part of a loss is learning to accept the new reality. The process of getting a divorce is as painful as a loss of a close relative. It is difficult when not one in the relationship is trying to cope with one another. One has to accept the ending to be able to start a new beginning and

that’s even more difficult than how the process first began. Americans usually go through an emotional breakdown during and after a divorce according to Shelley, leading them to see a psychiatrist which can be another set of money and values pressured upon that certain individual.

On average, women tend to take divorce harder than men do, due to their emotional mind state. It is a “Grieving process” (Shelly) that may take time to comprehend with, but everyone has a different process of getting over the divorce. The number of coping can be resolved by doing exercise, but that’s only to relieve stress and not the other parts of one’s mind. The concept of coping is not the easiest even if they were to try to find an easy way out (Shelly).

Generally speaking, parents can get cooperation from psychiatrist, who can help them find their pros and cons in their relationship. Scientist in the U.S. expect more couples to marry and solve their own problems within their marriage. Parents should be consistent with their marriage knowing how to deal with things that can affect them in any way. This makes things better at sorting things out, limiting the divorce rates in the U.S. Without coping there are more things that can form in harm’s way. In future references, research on divorce should be looked at as a factor that could cause the young and married couples to lack knowledge. This debate on whether or not divorce should be extended has been viral in the United States because they want Americans to lower the rate for the sake of children and families. A divorce of an individual should not be looked upon as a fault, but a lesson learned to gain knowledge for further life lessons.

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