Sentence Exercises: Chapter 10
Please revise at least one in each group (do two if you are having a hard time). You may want to keep/copy the original; then revise. P.S. It really DOES help to look at the specified page numbers!
Refer to the advice on pages 228–32, and rewrite each of the following sentences in the form of a list. a The causes of burnout can be studied from three perspectives: physiological—the roles of sleep, diet, and physical fatigue; psychological—the roles of guilt, fear, jealousy, and frustration; environmental—the role of physical surroundings at home and at work. b There are several problems with the online registration system at Dickerson University. First, lists of closed sections are updated only once a day. Second, there is no waiting list or notification system for students who wish to enroll in a full course. Third, the Registrar’s office does not have enough trained people on hand to help with problems.
The following sentences might be too long for some readers. Refer to the advice on pages 232–34, and break each sentence into two or more sentences. a If we get the contract, we must be ready by June 1 with the necessary personnel and equipment, so with this in mind a staff meeting, which all group managers are expected to attend, is scheduled for February 12. b Once we get the results of the stress tests on the 125-Z fiberglass mix, we will have a better idea of whether the project is on schedule, because if the mix isn’t suitable we will really have to hurry to find and test a replacement by the Phase 1 deadline. c Although we had a frank discussion with Backer’s legal staff, we were unable to get them to specify what they would be looking for in an out-of-court settlement, but they gave us a strong impression that they would rather settle out of court.
The following examples contain choppy, abrupt sentences. Refer to the advice on pages 232–34, and combine sentences to create a smoother style. a I need a figure on the surrender value of a policy. The number of the policy is A4399827. Can you get me this figure by tomorrow? b The program obviously contains an error. We didn’t get the results we anticipated. Please ask Paul Davis to test the program. c The supervisor is responsible for processing the outgoing mail. He is also responsible for maintaining and operating the equipment.
In the following sentences, the real subjects are buried in prepositional phrases or obscured by expletives. Refer to the advice on pages 234–35, and revise the sentences so that the real subjects appear prominently. a There has been a decrease in the number of students enrolled in our training sessions. b It is on the basis of recent research that I recommend the new CAD system. c The use of in-store demonstrations has resulted in a dramatic increase in business.
In the following sentences, unnecessary nominalization obscures the real verb. Refer to the advice on page 236, and revise the sentences to focus on the real verb. a Pollution constitutes a threat to the Matthews Wildlife Preserve. b Evaluation of the gumming tendency of the four tire types will be accomplished by comparing the amount of rubber that can be scraped from the tires. c Reduction of the size of the tear-gas generator has already been completed.
Refer to the advice on pages 236–37, and revise the following sentences to eliminate nonparallelism. a The next two sections of the manual discuss how to analyze the data, the conclusions that can be drawn from your analysis, and how to decide what further steps are needed before establishing a journal list. b In the box, we should include a copy of the documentation, the cables, and the docking station. c Sections 1 and 2 will introduce the entire system, while Sections 3 and 4 describe the automatic application and step-by-step instructions.
Refer to the advice on pages 237–38, and revise the following sentences to correct punctuation...
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