Selective Mutism Essay

For those of you who have known me since I was a little girl, you know that I spent a large part of my young life struggling with selective mutism. Selective mutism (SM) is a childhood social anxiety disorder in which a child is overcome with massive anxiety at the thought of speaking in public to people they don't know or feel comfortable with. It's usually diagnosed shortly after a child starts school. I was diagnosed with SM when I started school at four years old.

Selective mutism is not a form of other disorders such as autism, and it's not shyness. It's a separate legitimate disorder that causes a child to be in a frozen state of fear whenever there are expectations to speak in certain social settings. I didn't speak to my teachers, classmates, or even some family members (my much older brother and sisters) who never lived in the same house with me.

At the time of my diagnosis in the late 1980s, SM was
An overwhelming desire to finally feel "normal" led me to try and put it behind me for most of my young adult life, but a few years ago, something interesting happened. Life brought me to an unexpected halt in which I found myself going through some major disappointments and reality checks that caused some serious self reflection. This reflection placed me on the path to self awareness and self healing, and surprisingly (or not so surprisingly), I found that my SM was a major part of why I made the decisions I made and why I felt the way I felt. I realized that I needed to embrace and accept my SM to fully overcome it and let go of all those anxious false beliefs. So that's exactly what I did. After listening to my heart, I found myself seeking out ways I could help others who were just like me. I wanted to share my experience and let all those terrified and confused children and parents know that they're not alone and can overcome