Scene Breakdown In Better Places To Go

In examining Zach Inglis’s scene breakdown of ‘Better Places to Go’, the overall scene breakdown gave an overwhelming sense of story plot rather than a scene-by-scene breakdown of the film. What I have noticed is that the document presented is a scene breakdown and treatment combined which was not the task at hand, making it difficult to mark. Some issues within the document that I wish to raise are formatting (abiding by editing house requirements), the writing (readability) and its structure (layout, scene consistency and montage) and character (setting up the protagonist).

The mere physical format of the scene breakdown does not adhere to the standards of the document expectations nor the task set. Within the document, there are some
It currently reads much like a treatment with all the constant details. It contains more telling of the narrative rather than visually what is happening in the scenes on the screen. For this, I use the example to illustrate my concerns about this scene breakdown. ‘And after she died, Derek says, he met Ric’ – How is the audience going to be aware of this happening in the scene? My understanding is that a scene breakdown it contains what it happening in the scene, as the audience would see it on the screen. Feelings and thoughts cannot be expressed visually because it would fall under dialogue or character action, which is the task of the director. ‘But it’s his heart that can’t take it anymore’ – an audience cannot see that. Avoid using phrases such as ‘the character (Linda) visualizes something (their affair) ’, on page 7.

Another issue I wish to raise is that of referencing information that isn’t shown in the film, this could come under dialogue but should not be referenced if not in the scene for this I use the example of a scene between Nathan and Rosie in the diner. ‘Della only hired the Mexican boy to protect you’. The audience cannot know that by the action unless a flashback it used to show the