Satirical Essay
Miranda Armiger
Forcucci
Satirical Essay
May 25, 2013
Parking Lot Purgatory Her clock screamed Get Up! She rolled out of bed 20 minutes earlier than she normally got up for school. On any other day she’d be slapping at the snooze button, but today was a special day. Today was a milestone; she was finally able to drive to school alone. She was so excited to show off a car she brought back to life with her own hands and to rid herself of the imposed parking restrictions. After she cycled through her morning routine, she slipped into the silky black car seat, turned over the engine, shifted into drive and pointed her baby to school. A newfound sense of freedom flowed through her veins as she watched the homes and fields roll by as if seeing them for the first time. The sight of the parking lot at school was soon in view, which triggered a sudden anxiety attack manifested by her breakfast thinking about making an appearance. Were the parking police going to again verbally accost her? Thankfully she quickly settled into a parking spot where she knew like-minded car lovers would take care of her chariot. Taking one last peak at her prize she noticed a shabby looking van lurking behind her car. Making a U-turn, she strolled over to the man in the van. As she neared the man the flood of questions came pouring out of his mouth, “Where is your parking pass? Why are you here? Do you realize there is not enough room for people like you when parking lots are this full?” The only remark she had she held back as she made her way back to her car. All those thoughts of the freedom she had earlier were swept away by the flood of questions and accusations. There had to be a solution for people who had to drive to school; a solution that would prevent delinquents like herself from plaguing the parking lot. There was a plan that had been carefully plotted by the parking police. As she left her parking spot the police decided this delinquent was to be the one to put the
Forcucci
Satirical Essay
May 25, 2013
Parking Lot Purgatory Her clock screamed Get Up! She rolled out of bed 20 minutes earlier than she normally got up for school. On any other day she’d be slapping at the snooze button, but today was a special day. Today was a milestone; she was finally able to drive to school alone. She was so excited to show off a car she brought back to life with her own hands and to rid herself of the imposed parking restrictions. After she cycled through her morning routine, she slipped into the silky black car seat, turned over the engine, shifted into drive and pointed her baby to school. A newfound sense of freedom flowed through her veins as she watched the homes and fields roll by as if seeing them for the first time. The sight of the parking lot at school was soon in view, which triggered a sudden anxiety attack manifested by her breakfast thinking about making an appearance. Were the parking police going to again verbally accost her? Thankfully she quickly settled into a parking spot where she knew like-minded car lovers would take care of her chariot. Taking one last peak at her prize she noticed a shabby looking van lurking behind her car. Making a U-turn, she strolled over to the man in the van. As she neared the man the flood of questions came pouring out of his mouth, “Where is your parking pass? Why are you here? Do you realize there is not enough room for people like you when parking lots are this full?” The only remark she had she held back as she made her way back to her car. All those thoughts of the freedom she had earlier were swept away by the flood of questions and accusations. There had to be a solution for people who had to drive to school; a solution that would prevent delinquents like herself from plaguing the parking lot. There was a plan that had been carefully plotted by the parking police. As she left her parking spot the police decided this delinquent was to be the one to put the