Satire Essay

It is an unremarkable object to those, who walk down streets and dwell outdoors. They see people, maybe groups of two or three, with cigarettes between each their fingers, chatting about anything that comes to mind. These smokers, while carrying on ordinary conversation, are not aware that they are putting carcinogens and chemicals into their bodies with each breath… and others around them too. Researchers have recently found that secondhand smoke can cause cancer, and second hand smoke from people around you can be just as dangerous- or sometimes even more hazardous- as smoke breathed in directly from the smoker. This is because non-smokers who breathe in secondhand smoke take in nicotine and other toxic chemicals just like smokers do. Since non-smokers are exposed to secondhand smoke by convening in venues that allow smoking, it would make more sense for these non-smokers to begin smoking. I propose that since these people are going to get cancer anyway, presumably from second hand smoke, they should take up smoking to at least experience pleasure from it, and partake in the several benefits smoking offers. Although you may object to this modest proposal, just know that this suggestion is strictly based on logic.

But my intention is very far from being confined to experiencing pleasure from smoking. In addition, the increased use in smoking could also stimulate the economy, since cigarettes will always be in demand because of their addictive chemicals. The companies could charge as much as they want, since people will buy their products no matter the price. Children should also start smoking as soon as possible, so they start experiencing pleasure from smoking at a young age. Scientists have also found that smoking increases the rate of digestion of food. This is because the body’s priority moves away from the digestion of food in favor of protecting the blood cells and flushing toxins from the brain. Because of this, taking up smoking could also have therapeutic benefits, as well as cause pleasure. Likewise, smoking cigarettes is a good stress reliever, so smoking could be a safer alternative to harder, more lethal drugs that people take to relieve stress.

Smoking also helps solve the problem of high obesity rates in this country. Smoking after a meal not only can stop hunger cravings, but it could keep hunger away for hours. So instead of ordering a fattening, unhealthy dessert, you could instead go outside and smoke. Also, on a curative note, the most prominent ingredient in cigarettes, nicotine, not only makes you feel better but it helps improve concentration and memory and it is proven to help a number of conditions including: Depression, Schizophrenia, Parkinson's diseases and attention deficit disorder.

If you are going to get cancer anyway by just living your life and going near smokers, it makes sense just to feel pleasure as they do and take up smoking too. With all of these benefits, it would be foolish not to take up smoking; keeping in mind that all of the negative effects of smoking are faced equally by smokers and non-smokers who breathe in secondhand smoke.
I profess, in the goodness of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this habit for personal use; it is strictly a light in an otherwise dark world. It is a moment of freedom in an otherwise economically and socially unjust state. As the wise author Mark Twain once said “It’s easy to quit smoking… I’ve done it hundreds of times.”