Same Sex Marriage

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SAME SEX MARRIAGE

DONNA VINCENT

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY (SOCL 121)
INSTRUCTOR: DR. NELDA NIX-MCCRAY
APRIL 30TH, 2011
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Same sex marriage is a legally or socially recognized marriage between two people of the same biological sex or social gender. This topic is an issue in marriages and families today because there has been an ongoing debate, arguments and so much confusion involved with same sex marriage for a very long time. There are many reasons that are given as to why same sex marriages should be discouraged. Some of these include; others feeling that marriage is an institution between one man and one woman while others feel that this type of marriage is not a good environment to raise kids.
Same sex marriage affects almost everybody, some people are unhappy while others are happy with lots of confusion that needs to be cleared and at the same time other people are dying due to the choices that they make. If one decides to go for same sex marriage, they are either shunned by family, friends and the society. Others might be beaten to death or even tortured. In other gay marriages, I feel that the children in the families might be going through a hard time in trying to fit in. Children have a hard time in school which might lead to more issues with the children and trying to fix the situation. In this course, one learns ways and means of dealing with all these issues and they can be in a better position to avoid some of them. Through this paper, I intend to explain the benefits of same sex marriage to those that are in this type of marriage and why it is essential to them; the children in these types of marriages and their living situations and at the same time, I will include some of the reasons why a lot of people are so much against this idea.
Same sex marriage is one of the biggest debates that has been going on for a very long time since people can never come to a consensus about this whole issue with lots of different
Same sex marriage 3 reasons. People feel that churches would be forced to marry gay people against their will. If gay marriage is legalized, homosexuality would be promoted in the public schools. The 2000 United States Census revealed 594,000 same-sex couples nationwide, with 46,490 in New York alone figures that may undercount the true number of couples by as much as 62 percent. There’s a gay baby boom accelerating over the past decade, 34.3 percent of female same-sex households and 22.3 percent of male households have children nationwide (the figures for New York are 34.3 percent and 21.7 percent, respectively). These rates are not that much below the national rate for married opposite-sex couples of 45.6 percent and of unmarried opposite-sex couples of 43.1 percent. Using reasonable estimates, this would suggest around 400,000 children being raised by same-sex couples nationwide, and 31,000 in New York. Same sex marriage should not be encouraged because there’s so much controversy involved around it.
There are different reasons given for the benefits for those in the same sex marriage. (www.religioustolerance.org) Examples include; the financial & security, dignity & respect and the equal rights. Denying one group the right to marry has many adverse emotional and financial consequences. Examples of these are Social Security, Medicare, medical leave, and other benefits; property inheritance; the right to visit their spouse in hospital, and make medical decisions if they are incapacitated; security of the couple and of their children. In today 's economic environment, it often takes two incomes to live. A married couple shares rent, utilities, and other bills, which are often difficult for one person to take on alone. This is especially truly if a dependent person is involved such as a child. In addition, a married couple can often financially support each other when times get tough, such as when one of the two is out of work. The other can continue to pay the bills until the unemployed person gets back on his/her feet.
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As for the equal rights, denying marriage to same-sex couples removes from one group a fundamental, important human right which is the right to marry the person that one loves and to whom one has made a commitment. That is unfair and unjust in a democracy. At the same time, "The institution of marriage conveys dignity and respect towards a couple that make a lifetime commitment to support each other. “Same-sex couples deserve this dignity and respect." Another benefit is that it encourages people to have strong family values and give up high-risk sexual lifestyles. One of the main arguments against gay marriage is that it would further erode family values; however, the opposite is true. www.balancedpolitics.org. The problems related to sexuality in our society such as STD 's stem from carefree, frivolous lifestyles; in other words, having frequent, unprotected sex with many partners. Marriage encourages people to settle down and to give up that type of lifestyle. Married people commit themselves to one partner and work to build a life together. Isn 't that the type of behavior we want to encourage?
(The marriage and family experience Bryan strong Pgs. 368-369); talks about the children in the same sex marriage. Aware of the social stigma and lack of support, gay and lesbian families face, there may be a tendency to minimize differences in the children’s behavior. In so doing, some differences that might be strengths of gay and lesbian families may go under-emphasized. According to (www.religioustolerance.org); those opposed to same-sex marriage (SSM) often point to studies which show that children raised in families headed by a father and mother fare much better, both in childhood and later as adults. But further examination shows that most of these studies are not applicable here, because they compare families with opposite-sex parents to single-parent families, not with those headed by same-sex parents. Of course, many -- perhaps most -- children in single-parent families will be disadvantaged because of
Same sex marriage 5 poverty and the lack of a second parent to give the children more care and attention than one parent can provide.
Those who advocate same-sex marriage often point to studies which show that children raised in two-parent families do well, regardless of whether the parents are of the same sex or opposite sex. But most of these studies are deeply flawed because: They involve self-selected subjects, and/or, they do not study families over a sufficiently long interval, and/or they demonstrate bias on the part of the researchers. Children raised in families led by same-sex parents would be continually exposed to homosexuality. They may choose to become gay or lesbian at a higher rate than those raised by a father and mother.
Men and women have very different personalities, brain structure, talents, etc. They are designed to fit into very different roles within the family. In order for children to be properly socialized, they need to be brought up by both a father and a mother. The long range effects on children who are brought up by two women or two men are unknown and can only be speculated upon. Children of same-sex couples will be exposed to a great deal of ridicule and hatred by their fellow students and this could negatively affect their development. The desire to marry and settle down with a companion for life is very strong in some adults. So is the desire to have children. Other people also believe that if same sex marriage is not allowed, then at least some homosexuals may well be motivated to marry a person of the opposite sex, to leave the homosexual lifestyle, and to become an ex-gay or ex-lesbian. Others feel like same-sex marriage would weaken the institution of marriage by creating a counterfeit version of marriage which will harm the entire population, including children. Some studies show that the incidence of
Same sex marriage 6 violence between same-sex couples is higher than that between opposite-sex couples. This may also be true of same-sex couples in loving, committed relationships. If so, then children are bound to be harmed by the presence of violence in the home.
These are some of the more reasons why many people are against same sex marriage. www.bidstrup.com. Most religions consider homosexuality a sin. Virtually every religion in the world, including the major ones in this country, consider homosexuality unacceptable. It is offensive and a swipe to the religious freedom of the majority to have to recognize a relationship they consider sinful. The legal system in the United States evolved out of the laws contained in the Bible. We shouldn 't go even farther to tear down those laws. It would weaken the definition and respect for the institution of marriage. The 50 percent divorce rate has already weakened the definition of marriage. We shouldn 't be taking further steps to define what marriage is. A law allowing gay marriage would increase the number of joke or non-serious marriages, such as a couple of friends who want to save on taxes.
Marriage is the most sacred institution in this country, and every society considers it the joining of a man and a woman. It makes biological sense since only a man and woman can pro-create. It would further weaken the traditional family values essential to our society. The building blocks of our society and the thing that makes it strong is the traditional family of man, woman, and children. It is what has sustained us through two world wars, terrorist attacks, a Great Depression, and numerous other challenges over the centuries. While friends & lovers come and go, your family is always there. The main reason our culture and values have started to crumble is the weakening of families. Introducing another form of "family" would only make the
Same sex marriage 7 situation worse. It could provide a slippery slope in the legality of marriage (e.g. having multiple wives or marrying an animal could be next).
Gay rights activists claim that these marriages should be allowed because it doesn 't hurt anyone, but it could start a chain reaction that destroys the whole idea of marriage. If someone wants to marry his dog, why shouldn 't he be able to? What if someone wants to marry their brother or parent? What if someone wants to marry their blow-up doll or have 10 wives? Unless we develop some firm definition of what a marriage is, the options are endless. If these options sound absurd, remember that all it takes is a few activist judges to use the statute to open the door. It doesn 't matter if 95 percent of the population disagrees with the policy; one judge can interpret the case the way he or she wants. Do you remember how two judges in California recently declared the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional? If the decision hadn 't been overturned, it would have prevented millions of children from being able to say the pledge every morning, despite the fact that 95+ percent of Americans disagreed with the decision.
A lot of people feel that same sex marriage is not something to be encouraged, as a lot of research shows it leads to a much lower life expectancy, psychological disorders, and other problems. Studies show that homosexuals, for a variety of reasons, have life expectancies of approximately 20 years less than the general population. Just like a lifestyle of smoking, drinking, unhealthy lifestyles should be discouraged. www.religioustolerance.org. Same sex marriage is a debate that will always be there no matter what happens but people should never judge the same sex couple who decide to come together and get married. So long as they are happy and the children are well cared for, we should be happy for them.
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REFERENCES
Bidstrup, Scott (2009, June 3). Gay Marriage, The Arguments And The Motives http://www.balancedpolitics.org/ same sex marriage The marriage and Family Experience http://www.ibiblio.org/gaylaw Same-Sex Marriage in the United States: Focus on the Facts
Post-2004 Election Edition by Sean Cahill.
You tube Video "The View"--Argues over Gay Marriage
www.religioustolerance.org

References: Bidstrup, Scott (2009, June 3). Gay Marriage, The Arguments And The Motives http://www.balancedpolitics.org/ same sex marriage The marriage and Family Experience http://www.ibiblio.org/gaylaw Same-Sex Marriage in the United States: Focus on the Facts Post-2004 Election Edition by Sean Cahill. You tube Video "The View"--Argues over Gay Marriage www.religioustolerance.org