Sally's Thesis Statement

While reading the title of Sally T. Student’s essay you are immediately asked a question; this question allows for you to think and hopefully become interested in what the author is going to say. However, this was not the case while reading Sally’s essay. Sally’s essay continuously leaves the reader confused and asking questions by her lack of organization, sentence structure, and a thesis statement. Sally’s organization was choppy and unorganized, and was filled with detailed sentences left in the wrong order. For instance, Sally’s introduction paragraph lacked information that would be given later in the essay, and felt more like a first body paragraph rather than an introduction paragraph. Sally also started each paragraph explaining the reasoning behind something, rather than beginning with an introduction, which can be seen in paragraphs three and four. Failure of including an introduction sentence can quickly confuse and frustrate a reader, instead of allowing for an easy read that allows the reader to easily follow along. Altogether, Sally’s essay needs to be rearranged and constructed in a way that allows for the reader to follow along easily.
Another big
Although Sally’s essay was written in order to try to persuade the reader to one side of a topic, the lack of a thesis statement allowed for the essay to come across more as an informative paper than anything else. Thus allowing for Sally not achieving the goal that was set while writing the paper.
In conclusion, Sally’s essay could be improved upon if she revised her organizational skills, sentence structure, and includes a thesis statement in her writing. If she were to implement these aspects into her writing, the essay would become easier to read, thus allowing for the reader to be more easily persuaded by the author’s