December 12, 2013
Abundant love and responsibility: The key to raise successful child Mothers have to experience the difficult time to give births; however, raising their children is much more difficultly than anything because they are holding their children’s future, destiny, and lives. Like the sculptor gives all their passion to create his statutes, they must spend all their responsibility to guide their children to succeed but with their partners—the husbands. The most important job is to love and be truly interested in the children. This not only gives them a sense of security, belonging, and support, but also soothes the difficulties of childhood. The love of a mother or father should be special in two ways: First, love should be constant and unconditional—love must always be there, even when the child is behaving terribly. Second, the parents should express and show their love openly so that the children never doubt its presence. This means that parents should hug and praise their children at every possible opportunity. Nevertheless, love has to be shown in the right place, right time, and right way when the child is in infant to adolescence. In addition, every parent has different ways to raise their children, but not all of them are successful because they do not find the correct method to treat their children in each stage during development of children. There are five stages that they have to through: Infancy, toddlerhood, preschool, school age, and adolescence. The earliest stage of growth of the children is infancy, which is important and difficult stage because the parents must spend most of time for their children. The children have their first cry in the happiness of their parents when they get out of their mothers’ body after more than nine months. The babies are like the new plant sprouting from the ground—weak, but beautiful. They have souls of angles, which are pure and bright, and all they can do are eating, sleeping, and crying because for now they do not any consciousness of the complicated world that they are going to live with. Therefore, they need the protection and care from the parents all the time, especially the mothers. The infants have very weak resistance, so they easily have high risk of illness. Therefore, the infants really need their parents looking after for their health. Beside of taking of infants’ heath, the parents should provide the plentiful love to their children even though they cannot reply back by talking at this time, but they expect and can feel it from their parents. In addition, in this stage, the parents should help the infants enhance handling and positioning because they have enormous influence the advances infants’ development. According to the article “Enhanced Handling And Positioning In Early Infancy Advances Development Throughout The First Year” by Lobo, Michele A., and James C, “ the caregiver interaction of enhanced handling and positioning have short–term and long-term effects on infants’ development including in multiple behavior: prone, head control, reaching, and sitting behaviors (short-term effects); object transfer, crawling and walking behaviors (long-term effects)”. Therefore, the parents’ involvements in the infancy stage are very important for the children to move to next stage, toddlerhood stage. When the children move from infancy into toddlerhood, the parents should start to change the way taking care for their children. In this stage, the children start to socialize, and the parents will be the sculptors to form their children’s social behavior. Actually, parents now come teachers who give nurture, and providers who sufficiently provide their guidance and affection to their children. The children begin to understand and learn thing around them. In the infancy stage, the parents do everything for their children such as feeding, sleeping, toileting, and bathing; however, in the toddlerhood stage, parents...
Links: Among Co-parenting Quality, Parental Gentle Guidance, And Toddlers ' Social Emotional Competencies: Testing Direct, Meditational, And Moderation Models" by Kwon, Kyong-Ah, Hyun-Joo Jeon, and James Elicker, “Mothers who reported receiving co-parenting support from their spouses seemed to use more gentle guidance as a parental control strategy, which in turn contributed to a high level of toddlers’ social emotional competencies”. The authors also conclude that when both of the parents support each other in raising the children in the toddlerhood, it may have the positive effects in the family subsystems, and the parents may have the positive emotion to guide the children’s behaviors in warm, encouraging, and gentle manner. As the result, the children tend to have a good behavior when they observe the positive behaviors in their family everyday, and they will be ready to jump to preschool stage.
In the preschool stage, when the children can speak and understand thing better, the parents begin to teach their children the definition of dependence and adhere to the rules of behavior. However, the parents should give out the disciplines that have more love and affection than power, and should explain rules and expectations to their children instead of simply asserting them. Moreover, this is time to expect them to ask for their parents’ permission, so parent can teach them how to respect the older. Different to the earlier stage, the parents do not explain, but teach them to identify the line between right and wrong by taking them to leisure outside activities like fishing or playing sport. However, the parents must to use the positive statement as possible as they can to their children. For example, instead of saying, “ Don’t do that”, the parents should say “ Do this”, it will make the children feel more comfortable. In addition, the preschool children usually have the curious mind, and they tend to do what they are forbidden to do to find out reason. In addition, the children in this stage know the feeling of shame so that the parents should not administer the punishment in public, but in private, and only punish when necessary because it might affect to children’s behavior in negative way. Overall, the parent roles are very important to preschool children because it can decide the children’s personality development to move to school age stage. According to "Parent-Child Relationships” by Laurence Steinberg, “Preschoolers with authoritative parents tend to be curious about new situations, focused and skilled at play, self-reliant, self-controlled, and cheerful. Children who are routinely treated in an authoritarian way tend to be moody, unhappy, fearful, withdrawn, unspontaneous, and irritable. Children of permissive parents tend to be low in both social responsibility and independence, but they are usually more cheerful than the conflicted and irritable children of authoritarian parents. Finally, children whose parents are disengaged tend to have a higher proportion of psychological difficulties than other youngsters”. As the result, the parents should control and moderate their manner on their children so that they can have the positive behavior to get ready to be educated in the next stage.
When the children enter to the school age stage, the parents usually feel less responsibility on their children because their children mostly spend there in school. Therefore, the parents sometime might forget or do not take care much on the children, and it make a serious mistake, which has negative influence on children’s development. On the other hand, early school age, the children have to adapt to a new environment and community, and they start to meet a lot of new people, make friends, and do school work. All of those things seems like really strange to them because they before are always around with their parents or relatives, and only do what that want. And now, they need to do homework and have responsibility on it. It sounds like difficult for them. Thus, they need support from their parents who are always beside them. As the result, the parents need to be there to help their children. They need try to communicate and check on the children like helping them with their homework or talking about their school day. However, the parents must not make pressure on their study—like authoritarian parents—but try to help them develop self-reliance and social competence because it might have effects on children’s social behavior—they might join antisocial peer group and tend to make aggression on the others . Moreover, the parents should not be the permissive parents because it might worse than the authoritarian parents. According to the article "Latchkey Children" by Dennis H. Karpowitz, “The examples of such stereotypes include all latchkey children (the unsupervised children): are more likely to abuse tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs; are more sexually active; are poorer students academically; have inadequate self-concepts; are more self-reliant; are more fearful, apprehensive, and insecure; have little inner control; and are more likely to be involved in criminal activity compared to adult-supervised peers”. Over all, the types of the parents’ involvement are very significant because it might contribute or block their children to be successful.
The adolescence stage is the most complicated and the final stage that decides the results of raising the children. It success or not all are depend on this important stage. In this stage, the children start to have a lot of changes from inside—their thoughts—to outside—their bodies. Therefore, the parents have to change the way they treat to their children. the disciplines in the toddlerhood stage cannot apply into this stage—everything much change. The children in the adolescence stage tend to prefer to be independent, and the parents should communicate with them like adults, not like kids. The parents, especially the mothers, are very important roles in this stage. The parents should open and share their experience to their children. In addition, there are might some special relationships appearing in this stage—the teenagers’ love. They might have huge influence on the children’s future. Most of parents usually do not open to talk with their children about sex education, and their children have lack of knowledge about it. Therefore, this problem causes many of unfortunate consequences, which might destroy the whole the process of raising children. According to the article “Dating” by Rebecca J. Clover, “There are about one million girls between the ages of fifteen and nineteen become pregnant annually. There is 43 percent of high school students reported having been victimized by sexual or physical violence within a one-year period. Many of victims do not report their victimization”. The adolescence stage is when the children are easily get into danger, and the parents are the most powerful supporters to help the children overcome this stage and become successful children.
The process of raising successful children is a long-term process. The major elements to accomplish this process are love and responsibility of the parents. In addition, the process also needs a lot of sacrifice from the parents. Nevertheless, the parents need to understand and work well with their partners, and they have to be the good examples for their children to follow. To start doing the process, the parents must to prepare and plan carefully because they are going to create a person with his or her future.
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