Topics: 2007 singles Pages: 19 (1102 words) Published: April 23, 2015
• Whenever someone does something that
hurts us we have a natural inclination to hurt
them back.
• We know this is wrong and we
are taught that forgiveness is the path we
should follow but there’s no denying the
satisfaction and the warm feeling we feel
inside that comes with revenge.

The Desire
• As a leader, succumbing to the desire for revenge is
dangerous not only to your standing as a
Leader but also to your career.
• So how should a Leader react when hurt by
• A common answer is to automatically forgive
anyone who upsets you.

•While this is a noble response I feel this does not give you the satisfaction you need in order to carry on with your life. •What tends to happen is that there’s a little part of you deep inside that still has issues.

•Like an animal that hasn’t been fed, it gets louder and louder wanting to be heard until the sound gets so loud that it raises its ugly head in the form of behaviour that is not very leader-like.

•Things like:
You give the offender the cold shoulder: “I don’t care I will just never talk to that person ever again”.
•You are congenial to that person when face to face but when talking to others you criticise them.
•You explode in anger in the midst of a conversation or meeting. •The person who has upset you automatically gets more severe action taken against them than would have normally been
•Sounds familiar?

• Whenever you are hurt the beast inside you
awakens and once it is awake it needs to be fed
and the only food it wants is revenge.
• The key is to
tame this beast and to use it as a driver to achieve
what you want to achieve.

Step one: Control your reactions.
•“Any person capable of angering you becomes
your master. He can anger you only when you
permit yourself to be disturbed by him” – Epictetus
•The beast awakens only because you have
allowed it to awaken.
•When someone hurts you it’s
because you have allowed yourself to feel hurt.
• If someone says something nasty either to you or to
other people the action of saying something does
not cause you hurt.
• It’s your reaction to those
words that causes the pain.

Step one: Control your reactions.
• Never forget the power
of someone upsetting you lies with you and no one
• If you decide not to allow someone to hurt
you then there’s nothing they can say that will hurt
• If you think about it, that is perfect revenge.
• Not only is it pro-active but it is amazingly effective. • Imagine how you would feel if you go out of your
way to offend or hurt someone and then realise
that it has had no impact whatsoever. You would
feel like a failure.

Step two: Redirect your pain
•“The best revenge is massive success” – Frank
•Not allowing yourself to be affected by people’s
actions is difficult, extremely difficult and
sometimes no matter how disciplined you are you
will awaken the beast inside you and revenge is
now on the menu.
•When this happens use the fire
that has been ignited inside you to aim for true
revenge not the petty revenge you see when
someone strikes back at the person in the same
way they struck back at you.

Step two: Redirect your pain
• That is a cheap meal.
Imagine a dirty burger that you’ve just picked up off
the floor. That is the type of revenge that your
enemy is eating. What you want is a fine meal, in
an elegant restaurant with champagne

Step two: Redirect your pain
• Not only is that the type of meal that your beast inside you wants it’s the type of meal that you deserve.
• That type of revenge is called success. If you want true fine-class revenge then use that fire inside you to
make yourself such a success that the other
person can’t get through life without hearing about
how great you are doing.
• Give yourself a life that your enemy can only dream of and the best thing about all this? Is that your enemy will never ever
realise that they helped you achieve...
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