Relationship Rift Research Paper
Relationships are powerful. Whether they're a positive or negative experience, they have the power to impact us powerfully. And it is indeed when they are at their best or their worst, that we're most affected. When they're just 'blah' we can take 'em or leave 'em!
So in a way, our relationship rifts are very engaging to us. They provide endless fuel for the noisy mind to ruminate, ponder upon, and explore - especially our difficult or toxic relationships, and especially in the wee hours of the morning, when we most need to get our rest.
Nope, the mind says, I've got your bloody attention now and I'm not shutting up!
And then it goes on to share every detail of the dysfunction.
Every sentence uttered between you and the person you've argued …show more content…
Yes, of course we can, in the moment. But if we're no longer in that actual moment, then we're hurting ourselves, by replaying, their or our behaviour or comment, over and over again. Self-building hurt, upon hurt, upon hurt.
So what can we do about it, when a relationship rift is taking its toll?
1. Get Clear: What is this relationship really about? What does it mean to you? What is its significance in your experience? And you may think the answer's obvious, but take the time to see what significance you're placing on the relationship behind the obvious answers.
2. What does this person represent? When a relationship rift goes deep, the 'other' person represents something very familiar to you.The feelings they bring up in you feel very, very, familiar. Finding out what the person represents, is a beautiful way to begin to create space and resolution between you.
3. How does this person respond to your energy? Whether you say a lot or say nothing at all, this person already has a built-in response to your energy. So what are you giving out energetically in relation to this person? Is it an aura of: Defeat? Combat? Frustration? Fear? Cynicism? Insecurity? Find out what you're exuding when you're around
So in a way, our relationship rifts are very engaging to us. They provide endless fuel for the noisy mind to ruminate, ponder upon, and explore - especially our difficult or toxic relationships, and especially in the wee hours of the morning, when we most need to get our rest.
Nope, the mind says, I've got your bloody attention now and I'm not shutting up!
And then it goes on to share every detail of the dysfunction.
Every sentence uttered between you and the person you've argued …show more content…
Yes, of course we can, in the moment. But if we're no longer in that actual moment, then we're hurting ourselves, by replaying, their or our behaviour or comment, over and over again. Self-building hurt, upon hurt, upon hurt.
So what can we do about it, when a relationship rift is taking its toll?
1. Get Clear: What is this relationship really about? What does it mean to you? What is its significance in your experience? And you may think the answer's obvious, but take the time to see what significance you're placing on the relationship behind the obvious answers.
2. What does this person represent? When a relationship rift goes deep, the 'other' person represents something very familiar to you.The feelings they bring up in you feel very, very, familiar. Finding out what the person represents, is a beautiful way to begin to create space and resolution between you.
3. How does this person respond to your energy? Whether you say a lot or say nothing at all, this person already has a built-in response to your energy. So what are you giving out energetically in relation to this person? Is it an aura of: Defeat? Combat? Frustration? Fear? Cynicism? Insecurity? Find out what you're exuding when you're around