Within this assignment I will explore the ways in which I relate to others. I will identify any barriers or difficulties which could affect my ability to relate to others and therefore have an adverse effect on my role as a helper. Egan (1994) states that to be a fully developed helper, a key component is self awareness. He also suggests that there can be a “shadow side” to helping, which can adversely affect the outcome of the helping process.
Sanders et al (2009, p.69) examines the importance of a helper’s self-awareness. Without self awareness and knowledge, we all have a tendency to repeat patterns of behaviour unconsciously. Therefore in order to ensure that sessions are client centred and not biased, it is important to achieve an insight and understanding of self.
Motivation for helping others
Throughout my life I have wanted to help others and found myself in jobs which involved looking after people. I examined my motivation for helping others; I have sometimes helped others because it made me feel useful, accepted and valued. At times in my life, I have experienced low self esteem. Therefore by helping someone, I have felt useful and valued, which has in turn increased my self esteem. This is certainly not a healthy motivation for helping others.
In the integrative model, the cognitive behavioural strand helps to identify irrational beliefs that influence behaviour and emotional responses. This interest in cognitive aspects of therapy coincided with the emergence of the cognitive therapies, such as rational emotive therapy by Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck’s (1976) cognitive therapy. (McGraw-Hill 2008, p.141)
Using this strand, I was able to identify some dysfunctional automatic negative thoughts. These were around feelings of failure, being stupid, fat or unattractive. These thoughts are unhealthy and unbalanced. I need to accept who I am, instead of striving for other peoples’ approval, praise or
References: Egan G (1994) The Skilled Helper, 5th edition. California: Brooks/Cole Sanders, Frankland and Wilkins. (2009) Next Steps in Counselling Practice. 2nd Edition: Ross-on-Wye: PCCS Books Ltd McGraw-Hill (2008) D171 Introduction to Counselling. 3rd Edition : Open University, Milton Keynes Milne A (2010) Understand Counselling, - Previously Teach yourself counselling. Hodder Education :London Hough Margaret (2010) Counselling Skills and Therapy, 3rd Edition. Hodder Education : MPG Books