Rajesh's Statement

Example 1-
Rajesh had quit several jobs over the years under similar circumstances of anger and frustration. He did not want to continue the destructive emotional and financial pattern as it had taken a financial toll on him in the past. Currently he was working at a reputed bank where his frustration had slowly started turning into anger towards the people around him.
Even though Rajesh was well aware of the pattern he did not know how to change it. His self-help attempts just seemed to make things worse because they were just temporary solutions and after relapse he would feel worse as he would judge himself for failing.
Rajesh’s main reason for the anger was the fact that he felt as if all his efforts always went unappreciated. He felt
He was feeling beaten up by the people at work even though the whole event was made up by his imagination. Rajesh’s emotional response to these imagined situations were quite rational to being mistreated.
When Rajesh’s fear was further probed into, he ended up recollecting his experience with a harsh teacher of his, during his childhood. He remembered being afraid of attending her classes because of the way she treated him. When Rajesh paid particular attention to the scenarios spun by his imagination about his colleagues at work he realised that he did not feel abused or mistreated by any of his male peers.
These set of events led to the conclusion that associated with his childhood experience was the feeling of being punished unfairly, which stayed with him throughout his life. These feelings were particularly related to women in positions of authority. His mind continued to project assumptions from his past experience on to his current and future
He was a well-educated doctor and his training did not involve either identifying his core beliefs or the way his mind created emotions.
Anil started doing self-awareness and self-mastery exercises and used the inventory system outlined in these programs to investigate and change the root causes of his anger. He discovered that the root cause of his unreasonable anger towards his wife was self-judgment. He looked at his thoughts from an observer’s point of view and that is the reason why he was able to draw this conclusion.
In reality, Anil loved his wife with all of his heart and adored as well as respected her a lot. He was always amazed by how well she handled their children and all the household chores. He believed her to be a wonderful person with an exemplary attitude. Ironically this worked against him as he unconsciously set her behaviour as a standard of comparison for his own.

Whenever Anil was around his wife or thinking of her, his mind always played a trick on him. He used to subconsciously start comparing his attitude with hers and conclude his own to be substandard, as he kept her on a pedestal. This continual criticism was so incessant that it would amount to emotional self-abuse. Eventually these judgements that he formed about himself would give him so much emotional pain that his mind would push back against abuse in the form of