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Topics: Family therapy, Identity formation, Psychology Pages: 6 (2719 words) Published: May 27, 2014
Thoughts on Identity and Belonging

The following quotations are taken from the website:
http://www.gaia.com/quotes/topics/belonging
The day is a chase after ghost duties; at evening you are exhausted.  A day is over, and so much of it was wasted on things that meant so little to you, duties and meetings from which your heart was absent.  Months and years pass, and you fumble on, still incapable of finding a foothold on the path of time you walk.  A large proportion of your activity distracts you from remembering that you are a guest of the universe, to whom one life has been given.  You mistake the insistent pressure of daily demands for reality, and your more delicate and intuitive nature wilts...  Your way of life has little to do with what you feel and love in the world but because of the many demands on you and responsibilities you have, you feel helpless to gather yourself; you are dragged in so many directions away from true belonging. John O'Donohue

Source: Eternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong, Page: 8

As you grow, you develop the ideal of where your true belonging could be - the place, the home, the partner, and the work.  You seldom achieve all the elements of the ideal, but it travels with you as the criterion and standard of what true belonging could be. John O'Donohue

Source: Eternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong, Page: 6

Southerners have a gene, as yet undetected in the DNA spirals, that causes them to believe that place is fate.  Where you are is who you are.  The further inside you a place moves, the more your identity is intertwined with it.  Never casual, the choice of place is the choice of something you crave. Frances Mayes

Source: Under the Tuscan Sun

There is an internal landscape, a geography of the soul; we search for its outlines all our lives.  Those who are lucky enough to find it ease like water over a stone, onto its fluid contours, and are home.  Some find it in the place of their birth; others may leave a seaside town, parched, and find themselves refreshed in the desert.  There are those born in rolling countryside who are really only at ease in the intense and busy loneliness of the city.  For some, the search is for the imprint of another; a child or a mother, a grandfather or a brother, a lover, a husband, a wife, or a foe.  We may go through our lives happy or unhappy, successful or unfulfilled, loved or unloved, without ever standing cold with the shock of recognition, without ever feeling the agony as the twisted iron in our soul unlocks itself and we slip at last into place. Josephine Hart

Source: Damage, Page: 1

The hunger to belong is not merely a desire to be attached to something.  It is rather sensing that great transformation and discovery become possible when belonging is sheltered and true. John O'Donohue

Source: Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom, Page: 22

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'." Source: film "Shall We Dance?"

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* In all cultures, the family imprints its members with selfhood. Human experience of identity has two elements; a sense of belonging and a sense of being separate. The laboratory

in which these ingredients are mixed and dispensed is the family, the matrix of identity.  
(Salvador Minuchin (20th century), U.S. child psychiatrist, family therapist. Families and Family Therapy, ch. 3 (1974).)

The following quotations on the topic of Identity have been taken from: http://www.poemhunter.com/quotations/identity/page-1/\
(see the website and the authors’ names for more...
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