Purinex Inc

Let’s begin with timidity. This trait needn’t have any thing to do with generosity, but if often plagues givers. Timidity is sthe opposite of assertiveness, which is easy to associate with takers: they know what they want, and they’re not shy about demanding it. For a giver, however, the goal of acting in others’ interests can make it difficult to assert one’s own. Managers can help the givers in their organizations tease the two concepts apart and learn techniques for appropriate self-advocacy that feel compatible with generosity.
I saw a deft combination of generosity and assertiveness in action when a management consultant I’ll call Erica put in for a transfer from Southeast Asia to New York. Erica was and is the model of a giver. She routinely volunteers for unpopular projects, gives up vacation time to help her manager, sacrifices personal time to go the extra mile for clients, and mentors analysts whom her colleagues view as lost causes.
After living abroad for several years, Erica was ready to return to the US. Her ideal location was NYC, because she had family nearby. But she knew that the firm had a shorage of consultans in Asia and was overstaffed in NY. Lilke many givers, Erica was unwilling to impose on her employer and felt uncomfortable putting her own interest first.
At the time, Erica was enrolled in a negotiation course that I taught. To strengthen her resoslve, i suggested that instead of advocating only for herself, she should consider how the request would benefit others. She thought about how much it woulld mead to her family to have her close to home. Suddenly Erica became more assetive: She initiated a conversation with a manager about her interests and successfully negotiated a transfer to NY.
Erica’s triumph over timidity is illuminated by a fascinating study led by the Harvard professor Hannah Riley Bowles. Bowles and her colleagues asked nearly 200 senior executives to sit down in pairs and role-play a salary negotaition, with one