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Friends with Benefits: A New Trend “Friends with Benefits” is sex between two friends. These two friends have “neither a true romantic relationship nor a true friendship” (Lehmiller, Vanderdrift, and Kelly 276), and “there is no expectation of future romantic commitment” (Saedi 1). What majority of the elder generation does not understand about the term “friends with benefits” is that this type of relationship is doing no harm to either friend. The idea of just having sex with no emotional strings attached is what is appealing to most people who engage in such relationships. Also that your friends with benefits partner is getting “sex out it as well,” (Smith 1) so neither partner has any objections of being in such relationship.

Teenagers and young adults everywhere think that casual sex is normal, and that a “Friends with Benefits” relationship is a perfect solution to your problem when you cannot find your perfect mate. Hollywood is a culprit of promoting a “Friends with Benefits” relationship “Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis’ latest film, Friends with Benefits, is certainly a nod to this new ‘trend,’ as was Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher’s ‘No Strings Attached’” (Saedi 1). With Hollywood portraying such relationships as normal, young people who are influenced greatly by Hollywood would believe so.

One would think that a “friends with benefits” relationship would entail only a benefit: sex. In reality, a “friends with benefits” type of relationship would entail pros and cons. Some pros are that “your friends with benefits partner will usually be more than happy to accommodate you since they get sex out of it as well” (Smith 1). You both get something out of this relationship so neither of you needs to feel like you owe the other anything. Another pro is that “the pressure to impress in bed is off-though participation is always appreciated” (Smith 1). Young boys and girls feel the pressure to be good in bed, and a “friends with benefits” relationship completely throws that idea away, because you do not need to impress the other in this relationship, you just need to be there and engage in the activities. Some of the downfalls of engaging in a “friends with benefits” type of a relationship are that “while you may not be dating your friend or anyone else for that matter, it may not stop him or her from feeling that the sexual relationship is something more” (Smith 2). The first rule of engaging in a “friends with benefits” relationship is that you don’t fall in love, yet you cannot stop how you feel. Another con is that a “friends with benefits” relationship could ruin your friendship. You and your partner could have had a wonderful friendship before you two engaged in the relationship, so when the relationship ends, it could end your friendship as well. The main point that Nichole Smith is trying to make in her article, The Pros and Cons of Friends with Benefits is to “… make sure clear rules are set so no one ends up with less or more than they bargained for” (Smith 2).

In Jessica Dawson’s article “25 Friends with Benefits Ruled to Remember” her fifth rule is “Keep it a secret: Don’t talk to your friends about it. Gossip has a funny way of spreading within minutes after you tell a friend about it. You’ll end up pissing off your friend with benefits or getting a bad reputation” (Dawson 1). Having a friend with benefits could result in either a good or bad reaction from different people. To avoid the hurt, many people who engage in such relationships tend to keep it to themselves. For some people engaging in such relationships, it is embarrassing because their friends may not approve, or they keep it a secret because they really don’t want others to know about their sexual activities.

“Friends with Benefits” is a term that the teenagers and young adults use now days. “Sleeping around” and “casual sex” are different names, but they entail the same actions. “Friends with Benefits” sounds more appealing and less horrid. The thought of casual sex with no strings attached is appealing to most teens and young adults anywhere in the world. More and more people are engaging in such relationships with others because they do not have the will power to wait for their perfect mate. The “friends with benefits” relationship is becoming a trend among young people, “…with 78% of students engaging in them, although estimates may vary as a function of the definition of hook ups being used by researchers (ie., kissing vs. intercourse)” (Saedi 2). Although hooking up, the act of sex with a stranger is more of a trend than friends with benefits, hook ups are what lead to the desire for a friend with benefits. Both men and women engage in these types of activities, yet “men are rewarded with sexual prowess and experience, whereas women are shamed for these” (Saedi 3). Where both men and women are willingly engaging in these relations, women tend to be shunned for their acts and men, praised. Thus the psychological effects vary on gender. The sociological effects are the same for both men and women. Many people in society have a twisted view on this topic, these people turn the other cheek when friends engage in a “Friends with Benefits” relationship, but they look down on those who have sex with a stranger.

Sometimes men and women are not comfortable talking about their sex life to others and many times those men and women are not comfortable with hooking up either. Although both men and women willingly enter into a “friends with benefits” relationship, “both genders believed the other gender to be more comfortable with hooking up than either gender actually reported” (Saedi 5). Media promotes a “friends with benefits” relationship when in reality the media has no idea that both men and women feel the other gender is more comfortable with hooking up. Young people engage in such activities because from a younger age they have seen the becoming of such relations, but what they need to understand is that “the media’s portrayal is a far cry from reality” (Saedi 5). These young people need to learn about the pros and cons before rushing into anything.

It is said that people who enter a friends with benefits relationship “tend to have a less romanticized view of love, believing that there are multiple people with whom they could fall in love and also that sex can occur independent of love” (Lehmiller, Vanderdrift, and Kelly 276). Teenagers and young adults who engage in such relationships feel that there isn’t just one person in the world they can spend their life with and that love can be found from more than one person.