Pre Eclampsia Journal Entry

May 21,2011.The pains started.SHE'S COMING! After nine long months and two weeks overdue you finally decided you were ready to enter the world. We made it to the hospital.Doctors said i was only two centimeters dilated . Better get some rest .We have a long wait before your actually here.During that time i starting to come to the realization of what life is going to be like once your here.I started questioning myself.Was I ready?Am i able to care for this child?Remembering i was just a child myself.At just fifteen years old.Laying on the hospital bed doctors walks in and says its time to push.this is it.A few pushes.I heard your first cry .They put you on my chest and i just started at you .I had just met you but i love you.There were no more
This was just the beginning.The next morning i got to see you.they kept you over night because i needed to rest because my blood pressure was high .Of course being so young i knew there were going to be complications.A doctor came into the room and informed me that i had pre-eclampsia.The doctor was explaining what it was and what could've happened during my pregnancy and delivery .I could've died.Or worst i could've lost my daughter.after four long days in the hospital we were cleared and ready to go home.As we approached the house family and friends were already there ready to meet you .Plenty kisses.A few
I was able to get a month leave from school .During that time i was able to bond with my child.Id have days were i'd just watch her sleep.Shes just so perfect.I never want to leave her side.But unfortunately its was time to return to school.I woke up got dress and kissed my daughter goodbye before leaving.i turned around and walked away .tears started running down my face.As much as i didn't want to leave ,as much as i just wanted to be there for her i knew it was my responsibility to go to school and graduated to better our lives.So i did.I went to school everyday.unless Natasia had appointments .But soon my parents .The ones watching my daughter while i go to school , they got sick.They just couldn't anymore.I wasn't mad nor was i angry.I just couldn't afford to pay for childcare.and to be honest i just don't trust anyone else other then my parents to watch her.so eventually i had to make the most hardest decision ever.Leave school.I really didn't want to but it was a sacrifice i had to make .It was my responsibility to put my child's needs first .So i dropped out.barely experiencing high school.supposedly the best four years of your life.no new friends.No prom.No graduation.But i had my daughter.