Positive and Negative Emotions

Topics: Love, Triangular theory of love, Attachment theory Pages: 8 (1116 words) Published: April 25, 2014
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Attachment Style and Relationships

Emily Gold


Alan Coffin

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Part I:

The three dimensions of love are intimacy, passion, and commitment. Passion is when

a person or individuals feel strong emotions, excitement, and physiological arousal.

Commitment is a conscious decision to stay in a relationship. This includes a sense of devotion

to the individual who they are with or the relationship. Intimacy is a mutual understanding with

warm affection, and mutual concern for each others welfare. Sternberg theory is there are certain

types of love when one or more of these dimensions of love are interrelated. There are five

interrelated loves, and they are romantic, compassionate, fatuous and infatuated, empty, and

consummate love. Compassionate love is a mixture of intimacy and commitment. This is a slow

developing love built on high intimacy and strong commitment. Fatuous loves is a combination

of passion and commitment often describing people in a whirlwind passionate romance, but

barely know each other and it is unlikely to last. Romantic love is a mixture of intimacy and

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passion. This love may not always include commitment, for example spring break or summer

love. Infatuated love is mostly the same as fatuous, but may be described as people in awe,

adoration, and sex related feelings. Empty love is relationships built on commitment only.

People often describe this as a “dead” relationship and both parties often find a reason to stay

together. For example some will stay together just for the financial reason and not love.

Consummate is the complete form of love, representing the ideal relationship toward which

many people strive but which apparently few achieve. Sternberg cautions that maintaining a

consummate love may be even harder than achieving it. "Without expression," he warns,

"even the greatest of loves can die" (1987, p.341). . Sternberg cautions that maintaining a

consummate love may be even harder than achieving it. The variety of love is captured in

Sternberg’s theory of love’s essential ingredients. He explains in depth what love is and how

emotions and feelings are a part of his triangular theory of love. However time alone Page 4

does not cause intimacy, passion, and commitment to occur and grow. Knowing

about these components of love may help couples avoid pitfalls in their relationship.


Sternberg, R. J. (1986) A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93, 119-135.

Sternberg, R. J. (1988) The Triangle of Love: Intimacy, Passion, Commitment,

Basic Books (ISBN 0465087469)...la:triangulus amoris

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Part II:

I believe attachment style first starts as an infant and how you develop a relationship with

your primary caregiver. This establishes how you will develop relationships in the future with

others, such as friends and spouses. When there is a secure attachment pattern, a person is

confident and self-possessed and is able to easily interact with others, meeting both their own

and another’s needs. Though many who do not have a secure attachment pattern will most likely

find a spouse who does not make him or her happy. For example a person with an anxious or

preoccupied attachment feels that, in order to be close to another and have their needs met, they

need to be with your friend or spouse all the time. The person with this perception of reality,

they will choose someone who is hard to connect with or who is isolated. A secure attachment

adults tend to be more satisfied in their relationships. Children with this attachment view their

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caregiver as a secure base, from which they can venture out and independently find themselves

and the world. This allows them as adults in relationships to be secure and connected,...
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