24 Mar 2010
Pornography and Men’s Consciousness
As a woman, I realize I definitely see the whole industry and concept of pornography differently than I think
most men do. Probably even differently than some other women, in my opinion.
The degree to which pornography is harmful to our society, to relationships, is immense, in my opinion.
Different types of pornography have some separate issues, but I think with all there are some common themes.
Objectifying people, becoming desensitized, and distorting one’s perception of sexual activity being just a few.
Once relationships are harmed, that in turn affects many aspects in society. For example, according to the article
“Use of Internet pornography and men’s well-being” by Andreas G. Philaretou, Ahmed Y. Mahfouz, and Katherine R.
Allen, “Divorce attorneys find that compulsive computer use tends to be a leading factor in divorce.”
I believe that sexual objectification of women is a major issue in society also. The rationale of some men in
viewing pornography might be, “Well, I’m not violent, it’s not like I’m going to go out and rape anyone”, or “These
women are doing this of their own free will.” These are not valid arguments, in my opinion. It denies the corruptness
and violence involved in the industry, and how much it’s controlled by men. I think it also denies the abuse that many
of these women have already experienced at the hands of men.
While a man who views pornography very well may not go out and rape anyone, I think it’s absolutely going to
affect the way he views and relates to women. I have a cousin whose husband has a pretty significant problem with
pornography, and it has caused numerous problems in their marriage. Not only with their sex life, but their financial
situation, as well.
She expressed to me frustration in their sex life, because she felt like she could no longer please him. Apparently, he had these wild ideas of what they ought to be doing, and how she should act in the bedroom, as well as
what her body ought to look like. This is where, in my opinion, perceptions of sexual activity and expectations of your
partner become distorted and unrealistic.
Now, I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never ever seen a pornographic movie. I have to be honest, I can see
where, in some aspects, in might be viewed as pleasurable, or something to “spice things up.” But-I’ve also found
much of it to be downright laughable. The “dialogue” and “storylines” (if you can call them that!), as well as some of
the acts themselves, make it difficult for me to understand how anyone could think this, in any way, mirrors any real-
life experience! I am thinking this is where distortion and unrealistic expectations start coming into play, though.
In conclusion, my view of pornography, as a whole, is that it’s quite damaging, both to men and women, and
our relationships with one another, on whatever level that might be. I have, however, known women who viewed it
with their husbands/boyfriends, and didn’t think it was harmful at all. But, there can be no denying, in my opinion, the
corruption and violence that goes hand in hand with the industry, and the setbacks it creates and perpetuates for
women. I believe it just simply creates unhealthy attitudes and expectations for relationships all around.