But to them, it is SLAVEWORK! Considering the typical cashierian is three tons too big, moving that pen around loses an entire one hundred calories a day! (gasp) Oh my word, butter me up and call me a biscuit! You moved your hand?? Sheesh, might as well call you Jillian Michaels! Now, while you’re waiting to move through the line so you can just eat your food already, don’t try to rush or leave the line before the cashierian marks your name down. That is like a federal crime to a cashierian! “HEY! YOU GET BACK HERE NOW! I NEED TO MARK YOUR NAME DOWN! IT’S A HARD ENOUGH JOB JUST MOVING MY HAND! Oh, did she just say she loved him? (gasp)” I loved my impersonation. Didn’t you love it? I loved it.
III. So far, we have informed you about the mysterious janitorius, and the cranky cashierian, but nothing today has prepared you for the creature which I am about to reveal. It’s mean, nasty, and unsanitary. It’s the creepiest, crawliest creature around. It’s got long waxy ears, an oddly shaped nose, and wrinkled-up face. It kind of resembles a combination of the wicked witch from the Wizard of Oz and Joan Rivers... I present to you…the most violent of all LRM subspecies. THE LUNCHLADYUS. DUN DUN DUN! Don’t you just admit that was freaking