Silver Lining Funeral Homes
I have read the funeral homes policies and procedures concerning music played at funerals. However, realizing one's own mortality and understanding that the time I have remaining is reduced to days instead of weeks or months has made me question this policy. I am asking you to make an exception this once and grant me a dying wish. I wish to have a favorite song played that means so much to me, my family and friends. It would be wrong to have my funeral without it. Please consider my request to have the song titled, "You Can't Always Get What You Want” by the Rolling Stones played at my funeral.
While you may assume that this song is a curious selection to have played at my funeral, a brief outline will highlight how it actually is a key into a time period that carries meaning for not only myself, but all who know me and will attend the gathering. I have lived my life with a firm positive outlook realizing that at times we all do not get what we want, but we do get what we need. Since I began to love this song, the truth in the lyrics “You get what you need” have been seen repeatedly in my life.
The day I met the man who has become my life partner, best friend, confidant, husband, and lover I was at the lowest point of my life. I had just gone through a terrible breakup with a high school love that had planned along with me, to make a life and combine our desires as a unit that looked to the future with the anticipation that only young lovers have. It just so happened that the song in question seemed to be playing everywhere I was at the time; on the car radio, in stores, and at my friend’s homes. At first, I was furious at the straight forward message only hearing the beginning lyrics, “You can't always get what you want.”
During this time, a man I had known only in passing was at a gathering of friends at the lake. The song in question came on the radio; I went to change the station and he stopped me by saying it was his favorite song. I began to explain my hatred of the song and while he listened, he began to smile and told me, "You are missing the point of the song, you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find you get what you need." He then spoke with a sincere kindness in his eyes and said, "What I hear when I listen, is that no matter what the situation is, if we try, we can see that often what we were yearning for was not what we actually needed.” That evening he and I listened to the song while we began falling for each other. We enjoyed the euphoria of new love and this particular song for several weeks on end. Within a year of this time, he proposed to me, we married, and began our life together.
When my sickness became terminal he, as he has all these years, has been by my side encouraging, loving, and offering a beacon of light in what has been a constant darkness. This man, my loving husband, our friends, and our family will attend my funeral. They all know the story of “our” song. It is a perfect selection to be played for everyone who comes to celebrate my life and they will get what they need instead of what they want. A feeling will begin to swell inside my family and friends bringing back memories like a mental rolodex flashing pictures of love, longing, resplendent joy, and life. The song simply must be played in order for me to rest peacefully.
I appreciate you taking into consideration, my heart, my life, my love, and my wishes on this last request. Once again, the song that means so much to me holds a truth, "You don't always get what you want, but you just might find you get what you need."