Personal Narrative: My Family With Stage Three Breast Cancer

In 2010 my mom was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. I remember the day well; I remember feeling afraid and confused- but mostly confused, as I was promised that my mom would be okay- that she would just be sick for a little while. I remember being told that my three year old sister wouldn’t understand, so I wasn’t to tell her anything. I remember hearing my mom cry as she told my grandparents her diagnosis- I remember feeling helpless. Fast forward two years, and the cancer was finally beaten; my mom was crowned the victor, and I pushed any thought of cancer into a deep recess of my mind. My mom’s hair grew to her shoulders, she smiled more, and once again became the happy mommy of my childhood. Then it was Thanksgiving of 2015. She had
I remember the painful lump in my throat and how I tried to hold back my tears. I remember wanting to die. That night, I lay in my bed, isolated from my family, and tried to come to terms with my mother’s disease. I wanted the peace of loneliness. I tried to accept the worst case scenario (the one her doctors had given us) and let it become my reality- just for a second, to see if I could survive. I believed that if I could imagine a world without my mom, it would be easier to navigate later on. In the end though, it was really my mom that saved me from drowning in my fear. Her optimism and strength drives our family to be what it once was- healthy and happy. I have not come to peace with her cancer- but I haven’t let it define or limit me either. Instead, I’ve challenged myself to live for the moments I’m given. To value every smile, hug, or kiss I am privileged enough to receive. I do not let my fear of the future hinder me: I let it drive me to be better. So here I am, working towards a future I hope my mom will see, and loving the world through her rose tinted