Personal Narrative Essay: Substance Abuse

I hammered. I beat it raw, until the piece was unrecognizable. I manipulated it in a way to suit my own twisted desires. And like that, I was finished. Sweat dripped off my brow, as I cleaned and wiped the surface with rubbing alcohol and surface cleaner, making it shine to show my blood covered face and sweat drenched shirt. This summer, I spent my weeks, day in and day out, working on an old pickup. The pickup was a 1991, with over four hundred thousand miles, and enough stories to bring a child from adolescence to the age of retirement. The vehicle had been used in illegal drag races, drunken ride homes from the bar, and chasing women of promiscuity and easy virtue. The vehicle had been used for smuggling over the border and fancying authentic
I slowly ran my hands along the metal, occasionally tapping and listing to the sound that followed. I noticed an anomaly. As my hand ran, there was a microscopic bump, invisible to the naked eye. I swore. This bump was only the first of many, however, this denoted a bigger problem; Microscopic bumps usually meant one thing; Bondoc. Bondo, is a filling putty, used to repair Collison damage. While very workable when wet, it becomes unstable and will flake with age and time. I swore again. The progress was just beginning, and as soon as it began, it had come to a screeching halt. I swore for the third time, uttering a plethora of foul mouthed words that would embarrass a sailor. Old habits are hard to break, and the older they are, the stronger they get. As I debated what to do with the Bondo, I found myself in a sudden fit of violent rage. It angered me, as life never worked out in my favor. Next thing I was aware of was the hammer. 18-pound sledge, 6-foot handle. Had a swing weight of 72 pounds. I swung. I Swung again. As I mangled what was left of the damaged body, I felt a sickeningly sweet wave of satisfaction over me. I saw how I made it all worse and didn’t even care. It was all a dream, a dream in
Putty, sand, smooth, repeat. After four days of this, I began to grow weary from repeating the process over and over again. I laughed. I made jokes to myself to remain calm. It always amazed me; When they show television shows doing it, the elapsed time frame for body work is five weeks. I spent four weeks on purely Bondo work. This is arguably the most time consuming portion of any kind of restoration, as the Bondo is only workable within the parameters that it remains wet, and glue like. As it dries, it becomes hard, and doesn’t allow further refinement without the use of heavy sanding disks. This progress not only drained my bank account, but also drained my will to live. It was a bitter, slow