Personal Conflict Theory
According to Pastor Tracy McConnell, in his book Conflict, Anger, and Forgiveness, there are a few key steps before confronting the conflict situation. First you have to identify yourself, “Are you the one in a conflict situation?,” “Are you asked to be a witness in the conflict resolution?,” or “Have you gone through the process and they have not admitted their fault?”. After that is established one must then move to identify the offenders in the conflict—they could be Christian, non-Christian, Atheists, etc. After you have identified the viewpoint of the other offender, next one should identify the offense or conflict. Once the conflict has been identified and clarified one should move on to deal with their anger.
“The only way we can confront in a spirit of gentleness is if the emotion of anger is dealt with prior to the confrontation” (McConnell, 2010). At this stage one should admit and confess their sin… “Jesus links repentance with forgiveness in Matthew 6:12 where He says ‘And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.’ The ‘as’ that joins them together shows the need for balance between the two practices… So the first obstacle to repentance is seeing our brother’s sin much more clearly than we see our own. One way to find out if this is the case is to ask yourself, ‘Do I do the thing I’m angry about?’ If the standard you use to judge other people’s actions is stricter than the standard you use to judge yourself, you probably need to spend time working on repentance before you confront” (McConnell, 2010). Next, it is important to find all the sin in our lives, this will make us not only a little more humble when approaching the conflict with another, but also clear up one’s walk with God especially in a difficult conflict.
After finding one’s one sins and asking for forgiveness, it is then crucial to prepare oneself to listen. “Be ready to listen to what the other person has to say. James 1:19-20 says ‘So then, my...
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