People Pleaser
Ethics And Values Assignment
Monisha Chandar.B
Sometimes we take exception to a decision, yet we nod in agreement, or we simply let it pass. we justify our acquiescence as keeping the peace, or knowing when to pick our battles. But something else is going on. we worry about saying no. About ruffling feathers. Or worse.
So we keep mum. Or we say yes.
Sometimes we hear ourself saying yes and we wish dearly that no would roll off our tongue, but it seems so much harder, more frightening, capable of unleashing a string of consequences that don’t bode well. Anger. Resistance. Disapproval. And now yes is the habit of a lifetime, the habit of our relationships, the habit of our role at work.
If we always say yes, where do we put no? Anxiety, migraines, sleeplessness, the nightly glass of wine, the cigarettes, the growing depression?
Sometimes, we spend so many years accommodating – everyone – that we forget to accommodate ourself, wondering when “you” got lost in the mix. our life is filled with many good things, but something doesn’t quite fit. You don’t quite fit. You’re not unhappy exactly, but nor would you say you’re happy. But then no one’s happy, right? Or so you tell yourself, seeking solace.
But There’s absolutely nothing wrong with pleasing people, including ourselves. If we’re willing to make sacrifices for the sake of another, who are we to say that’s wrong? But the fact is, people pleasing isn’t about pleasing others, but fending off our fear of rejection. Those of us who would consider themselves people pleasers are generally individuals who feel the need to be accepted by the world around them. And not just a general acceptance, but that of each person they come in contact with. And to maintain this madness, we seek to please with abandon.
Let me just start by saying that I’m one of the biggest people pleasers out there. Show me a possible moment of displeasure and I’ll jump in and fill the need as fast as I can in hopes of both harmony among
Monisha Chandar.B
Sometimes we take exception to a decision, yet we nod in agreement, or we simply let it pass. we justify our acquiescence as keeping the peace, or knowing when to pick our battles. But something else is going on. we worry about saying no. About ruffling feathers. Or worse.
So we keep mum. Or we say yes.
Sometimes we hear ourself saying yes and we wish dearly that no would roll off our tongue, but it seems so much harder, more frightening, capable of unleashing a string of consequences that don’t bode well. Anger. Resistance. Disapproval. And now yes is the habit of a lifetime, the habit of our relationships, the habit of our role at work.
If we always say yes, where do we put no? Anxiety, migraines, sleeplessness, the nightly glass of wine, the cigarettes, the growing depression?
Sometimes, we spend so many years accommodating – everyone – that we forget to accommodate ourself, wondering when “you” got lost in the mix. our life is filled with many good things, but something doesn’t quite fit. You don’t quite fit. You’re not unhappy exactly, but nor would you say you’re happy. But then no one’s happy, right? Or so you tell yourself, seeking solace.
But There’s absolutely nothing wrong with pleasing people, including ourselves. If we’re willing to make sacrifices for the sake of another, who are we to say that’s wrong? But the fact is, people pleasing isn’t about pleasing others, but fending off our fear of rejection. Those of us who would consider themselves people pleasers are generally individuals who feel the need to be accepted by the world around them. And not just a general acceptance, but that of each person they come in contact with. And to maintain this madness, we seek to please with abandon.
Let me just start by saying that I’m one of the biggest people pleasers out there. Show me a possible moment of displeasure and I’ll jump in and fill the need as fast as I can in hopes of both harmony among