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Parenting Styles

By hamgirl21 Dec 09, 2012 1076 Words
Parenting Styles
Melissa Hameister
Black Hawk Technical College

Parenting Styles
There are many differing theories and opinions on the best ways to rear children, as well as differing levels of time and effort that parents are willing to invest. Many parents create their own style from a combination of factors, and these may evolve over time as the children develop their own personalities and move through life's stages. Each parenting style is affected by both the parents' and children's temperaments, and is largely based on the influence of one’s own parents and culture. Most parents learn parenting practices from their own parents — some they accept, some they discard. Most parents deal with their children one of 4 different styles.

Authoritarian, In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules set by the parents. Telling their children exactly what to do, failure to follow rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, "Because I said so." These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children. Then there is authoritative parenting which is similar to authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more selected. Authoritative parents provide rules and guidance without being overbearing. They are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing.

Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. Permissive parents don’t protect their children from making mistakes. They allow their child to make decisions, and then they stand back and hope and pray that the child makes a poor decision so that he or she can learn from the natural consequence of that decision. Taking action does not mean protecting children from bad choices, or rescuing them from the consequences of their mistakes. Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.

And then there is the Un-involved parenting style, which is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child's basic needs, they are generally detached from their child's life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children. In this situation, parentifying could take place. This is were your child is taking care of you instead of you taking care of them.

The whole world has changed around us in terms of workforce requirements, mothers and fathers in the workforce, divorce, and family makeup. The whole sort of social and economic foundation has changed dramatically. That plays a huge role as well in what effects our parenting styles as well. But the needs of babies and children haven’t. The impact of how you raise your child will differ from each style. Authoritarian parenting styles generally lead to children who are obedient and proficient, bout they are not as happy. They are not as social and can have lower self-esteem. Authoritive parenting tends to result in children who are happy, capable and successful. The permissive parenting often results in children who are not as happy and have low self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school. The uninvolved parenting style ranks the lowest across all life’s challenges. These children tend to lack self control, have low self esteem and are less competent than their peers.

There are differences in the ways mothers and fathers relate to, and interact with their children. These differences have to do with biology, psychology, cultural expectations, and practical considerations. All cultures mothers have been dictated by necessity as well as the fact that females are generally more nurturing than males. During the first tow years of a child’s life, the typical father as a parenting aide, serving as the mothers assistant. Somewhere between the child’s second and third birthday, mothers tend to step back and expect their child to stand on there own two feet. In that process the mom’s become more authority figures. And a father’s role becomes more crucial to his child’s success in many areas.

But unfortunately there are so many children that spend most of their growing years in a father-absent home due to the growing crisis of divorce. Such children are at significantly higher risk for all manner of behavioral and education problems. Researchers found that teens with active fathers are less prone to have problems with sex, drugs or alcohol and are more likely to go to college, enter successful marriages, and even become good parents themselves.

Solutions from parenting styles and practices come from a basic philosophy called Love and Logic. Love, allows children to grow through their mistakes. Logic, allows them to live with the consequences of their choices. Your suppose to be the one in control protecting them. Parents should provide opportunities for children to do the greatest amount of thinking and decision making.

A Childs core nature is thrilling to observe and appreciate as it unfolds before your eyes. It’s wonderful to feel confident as a parent to shape parenting techniques to fit the unique needs of your child’s nature. We as parents make mistakes, and even as children move into areas where they don’t do well in or where they seem to fail, they still pick themselves up again. When you provide options and alternatives, children use their energy to control their own lives. They use their brains to weigh their choices. And they are too busy thing to argue with you. When you take action, you allow natural consequences to fall. So in my conclusion, what it all comes down to, You know your child best. All children are already hardwired to be who they are going to be. Spending time with your child and showing your child that you care is the most important thing a parent can do!


The fountain magazine: Suheyla SARAC 2001

The Journal of Early Adolescence December 1 2007

Journal of Family Issues December 1, 2008

Journal of the American Dietetic Association, Volume 110

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