Parenting in modern world

Parenting is the rearing children, especially the love, care, and guidance given by a parent. Parents always have their own style of parenting, and it has a big impact on the development of children. Many psychologists say that method of education affect children not only in their childhood, but also the basis of all human’s life. It is claimed that each historical epoch is characterized by own style of parenting and in the modern world parents use permissive (indulgent) approach. Indulgent parenting includes both sides: positive one- leads to a good relationship between parents and children, negative- lead to irrevocable frustration in the further life.
Permissive parenting is one of the four types of parenting styles. First described by psychologist Diana Baumrind during the 1960s. This style can be described as the absence of any rules and any discipline. Adults who use it very often seem like a friend, but not like parents. They often rely on bribes of snacks, toys or activities in order to get children to behave. In a study 281 American children at the age of 9, scientist found that kids with permissive parents were more likely to increase levels of aggression (Underwood 2009) Permissive parenting style is determined by two important characteristics. Permissive parents are understanding but reluctant to enforce norms of socially correct behavior. Also they use phrases such as “sure, you can stay up late if you want to,” and “you do not need to do any chores if you don’t feel like it.”
Indulgent parenting can bring good relationship between parents and their offspring and promote a sense of independence for kids. This is obvious, when the parents don’t use reproaches to children, it will be easy for kids to get on well with their parents. So adults need to make a contribution to eliminate bad disaster in family relationships and eventually to bring up a warm atmosphere at home. Moreover, by living from parental control, children have a chance to explore the world by themselves and make own decisions. This can consequently motivate independence, which is seen as a key skill in their adulthood. Most psychologists say that permissive parenting style creates an environment where a child controls his parents and not the contrary. Too much freedom is harmful and children can use that freedom in a negative way. They can start to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes because they have no fear of being punished by their parents. Excessive freedom that parents give to their children can certainly play against them in the future. But children who have permissive parents usually ripe earlier than the others because they learn to make decisions of their own and be responsible for what they have done. According to research by Psychologists E. E. Maccoby and J. A. Martin Permissive adolescents and kids had lower depression rates, higher self-esteem and social skills
On the flip sides, there are also uncountable potential pitfalls hidden in this approach, which can result in an epidemic of parents’ grief. Permissive parents don’t like prohibit anything to their children and disappoint them. As a result teenagers make decisions without them. Parents do not view themselves as active participants in shaping their children. Instead, they see themselves as a resource, which the children can use when they want. Research conducted by Kimberly Kopko Ph.D. in child development showed that chldren of permissive parents recognizes that there are few borders and regulations and that outcome are not likely to be very strong. As a result, teens may have problem with self- control and show egocentric tendencies that can interrupt with proper development of peer relationships. Children of this parenting method usually think that the whole world will perform all their desires in a similar way. This can lead to irrevocable disappointments later in life. In fact, they are prone to suffer from frustration when they cannot achieve what they want. Indeed, they usually take part in anti-social activities, and act terribly which is often perceived as the spoilt, inattention and self-centered. Permissive parents typically use more liberal approach. It is very good when in the parenting there are aspects such as love and affection, but when there are no balance and discipline, it turns into a bad parenting.
To sum up, weighting up the pros and cons, I assert that permissive parenting style bring about more adverse effects than positive one. Besides showing affection to children, it is parents’ responsibility to impose certain boundaries for their kids so that they can obtain vital skills to get on well with life. As said Alexander Sutherland Neill “freedom, not license”. Children receive significant freedom to do what they like so far they don’t harm others. Despite the pluses and minuses of this style, parents have to mix all types of parenting to be able to raise children as all-rounded individuals.