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PaintonReviewMorton

By bluefirepyro Apr 01, 2015 809 Words
ENGL112 Peer Review Worksheet
WORKSHEET: Please reply to each question below, writing in complete sentences and providing justification or explanation for each response. 1. Does the writer catch your attention and clearly convey a clear purpose in the introduction? If so, what strategies did he or she use to accomplish this? If not, what suggestions can you provide to strengthen the introduction and clarify the purpose? The writer does catch my attention with a casual conversation tone that transitions into questions. These questions keep my attention and make me want to read further in attempt to answer them for myself. Some of his questions even highlight over other big issues like jobs, money, and the environment which can bring almost any groups attention to this paper.

2. What is the writer’s thesis? What unique angle on the topic does the thesis present? What suggestions can you offer for improving the wording of the thesis? Morton's thesis statement is clear and states that he is in favor of the construction of the Keystone Pipeline. I feel he could change a statement in his first paragraph in order to make this a unique angle, but as of right now it seems this is just a persuasive statement to an existing debate. I would probably change the body before the thesis statement to make the bigger issue focus on corruption of oil companies and use of citizens tax dollars. I would than make my thesis statement a unique angle that disagrees with that statement and then continue from there.

3. What type of support does the writer use? Does this support help to prove the thesis statement? Is research integrated effectively with author tags and effective summaries, paraphrase, or direct quotes? Is the information presented logical and is it explained well? What suggestions can you offer the writer in terms of improving depth of information or presentation of research? The writer clearly supports his argument throughout his paper using trusted news sources and government agencies that are involved with the purposed project. Morton has effectively integrated his sources into his text with quotes and paraphrases. However he has seemed to miss the use of the "para" detail for quotes. He does not include what paragraph on the website his quotes was extracted from. He also used the extended quotation format and forget to insert the ":" symbol in paragraph four of his paper. I also not sure if the professor will want the use of running titles. The writer also used snapshots of his computer screen I feel they could be cropped down to exclude the detail that is not of focus. Also I would refer the writer to the APA handbook for there is no use of visual citations in the body of the paper.

4. Is the paper organized effectively? Does the writer cover one point fully before moving on to the next? Are topic sentences and transitions used to deliver the paper in a coherent manner? What suggestions can you offer to increase organization and structure? The writer has effectively covered points before moving on to another. He effectively uses both running titles and transition sentences throughout the paper. I have no suggestions for the writer on his organization and structure.

5. How would you describe the style, tone, and word choice used? What strategies does the writer use to connect with the audience? In what ways could the writer better meet the audience’s needs? The tone is argumentative and uses proper grammar and vocabulary that is proper for the intended audience. The writer is constantly explaining issues that would affect people in the audience if this project does not go forward. So in other words the writer is connecting with the audiences current and future issues. I would probably include more details for the debate against and then break down why those points are not valid using reputable sources.

6. What is your overall impression of the essay? Does the writer motivate you to act or persuade you to agree with his or her point of view? What is the most important revision the writer could make to improve the essay? What is the writer’s biggest strength in the draft?

I am impressed with the overall essay and highly agree that the subject is a current issue and will solve and create many more. The paper does bring a up many issues which have me reading into more detail on the status and milestones of this project. Fine tune the introduction paragraph to make his thesis statement unique. Also I would include some text with the visuals to explain exactly what each one represents and it's importance for his statement. The writer has strong structure and uses a vocabulary that is easy to understand from many educational levels. He clearly identifies his thesis and supports it throughout the paper.

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