“And I realize momma really paid the price she nearly gave her life to raise me right.” In hearing those words by the late Tupac Shakur in his song “Keep Ya Head Up”, I had a startling revelation: My mother was somebody and I had been taking her for granted. Immediately after the hearing that song I processed every lyric and applied it to my life. At that very moment I realized how important my mother really was and I stopped taking her for granted. This song had changed me forever.
Growing up was not that easy for me. There was always lots of turmoil in the household. As a young child I thought my mother was suppose to do any and everything I wanted her to do when I wanted her to do it. My mother was suppose to fix everything that was wrong in my life and she didn’t, but not because she couldn’t. When I couldn’t get whatever I wanted I would lash out. I expected way too much from my mother. She wasn’t superhuman. There was thing s going on that were not her fault and she had no control over I still blamed her for it. The way I rationalized it was that if she loved me so much why I can’t have everything I want, or why am I hurting so much. She is supposed to take all the pain away and make everything okay no matter what the circumstances. I never stopped to conceive the fact that she was basically raising me and my brothers on her own on a small pay check and struggling everyday to make sure we were taken care of no matter what. She was barely making ends meet while seeing that we had everything we needed and then some. My mother did everything she had to do for us, and it was my selfish mindset that stopped me from seeing that.
When I first heard the song I was riding in the car and it came on the radio. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was stopped in tracks. The woman I had been disrespecting, and blaming for all of life’s problems was much more important to me than I had been making her out to be. My mother was more than a provider and an authority...
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