Growing up with all my close friends I noticed how close they were with their fathers. They all had such a special bond and it made me feel different. My biological father was never really a part of my life, but I do have my stepfather and our relationship has been a little different than most “father-daughter relationships.” We do bump heads most of the time and it’s always over spilled milk or just because he didn’t have the greatest day, and is in a bad mood. It makes me really angry when we fight because I feel like sometimes it gets out of hand, not physically but verbally. I try my best to just let it go when he yells at me because I didn’t sweep or tells me I’m worthless and lazy, but it saddens me because I just want to be happy and want him and my mom to be proud of all the things I have accomplished.
After starting school and learning about NVC, I feel like things are a little different and better. (Communication Wise)... One evening I was sitting on the couch relaxing, I already had done my chores so my dad wouldn’t come home and yell or make a fuss about the house being dirty, as usual. He came home and of course found some little reason to yell. Our dog “Tootsie” was in the kitchen and he knows better than to be in there so I said, “tootsie get out of the kitchen”. My dad then says, “Yeah tootsie get out of the clean kitchen”... “How hard is it to clean? You can live in filth all you want somewhere else but not here, quit being lazy and using people”. I then responded with “I understand your upset, but I did make an effort and clean before you came because its makes me angry and sad when you yell at me. I just want to have a good and happy relationship with you, I’m not lazy and I don’t use people. I have a job and go to school full time, so I would appreciate it if you were nicer and acted like I was your daughter.
After that conversation with my dad I feel like everything has gotten a lot better and I try to use NVC as much as I can. NVC in my opinion has helped me so much! Not only does it help with communication but I feel like it sounds more proper and formal as well. When I use it I feel like myself as well as the many people I am communicating with understand me a whole lot better and we get each other more clearly by expressing all these different types of emotions.