Not Me, Not Now: Pledging Abstinence

Some simply see sex as a thing to do, for me it is much more than that. I was brought up to believe that sex is supposed to be something special that you do with the one you love. Today this “special” act is viewed as just the opposite. Kids and young adults do not care because they feel “it’s just sex”. It is sad to think that most take this topic so lightly. That is why I have chosen to be abstinent and wait to engage in sexual activity until marriage. This is a personal choice of mine, and I know some may agree or disagree. With all the emphasis on the importance of using condoms and birth control to ensure safer sex, I feel the intelligent choice of abstinence is being highly overlooked. It is sometimes viewed as old-fashioned and based solely on religion, but in theory it is a plausible decision for one to make. The word abstinence means to abstain or refrain from something. People tend to forget its specific meaning, and feel that those who make this choice judge the ones that do not. Making this choice myself, I will set the record straight that abstinence is strictly a personal choice and others have absolute no influence. Many of my closest friends have chosen to have sex, and I have and always will be there for them no matter what decisions they make. They too stand by me with the decisions I make, despite the fact that they may be different. Not having sex may seem easy because it's not doing anything. On the contrary, peer pressure and things on TV and in the movies can make the decision to practice abstinence more difficult. If it seems like everybody else is having sex, some people may feel they have to do it too, just to be accepted. Don't let kidding or pressure from friends, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or even the media push you into something that is not right for you. A couple can still have a relationship without having sex. I believe couples who wait have a more intimate and personal relationship with their significant other because it isn’t just a physical relationship. You can still be attracted to someone without automatically wanting to have sex with them. Getting to know the person first is important because having sex is a major step in a relationship. There are many stereotypes with both those who have sex, and with those who do not. Those who frequently have sex with multiple partners are viewed as promiscuous. The others who choose not to participate in sexual activity are viewed as “goody two-shoes”. In our society today both these stereotypes attack females more so than males. Being one categorized into the “goody two-shoes” category, I feel many mistake my assurance for being judgmental. If you have made a decision not to have sex, people who care about you should respect that. Having a stronger marriage is a benefit of abstinence. Statistically it has been proven that marriages between people who have practiced abstinence have a lower divorce rate. It is said that those who engage in premarital sex are 50% more likely to divorce than those who did not (Benefits of Abstinence). Being with someone who does not have a prominent sexual background eliminates a lot of extra baggage that you do not have to deal with in your relationship. Sex is not the foundation of the marriage although it is a very essential part of the bond between husband and wife. Avoid choosing your mate based on their sexual performance over other characteristics such as shared values, goals and companionship. Everyone is told that abstinence is the best policy because it is the best form of birth control. It is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (Hirsh). Although many birth control methods can have high rates of success if used properly, they can occasionally fail. Practicing abstinence ensures that a girl will not become pregnant because there is no opportunity for sperm to fertilize an egg (Hirsh). Abstinence also protects people against STDs such as HPV and HIV. If you are having sex, both you and your partners should be getting tested regularly. Annually over 3 million teens get a STD, one in every four teenagers will get a STD in their lifetime (Rector). There are over twenty STDs out there that affect over 15 million each year and two-thirds of them occur in people who are 25 years-old or younger (Rector). Not only is there a rise in sexually transmitted diseases, but in teen pregnancies and abortions as well. Teenage pregnancy rates remain high and approximately 1 million teenage girls become pregnant each year in the United States (Pregnancy). Eighty-two percent of teen pregnancies are unplanned; they account for about one in five of all unintended pregnancies annually (Pregnancy). Abortions have recently become a major issue in our society over the last few years. It is an extremely controversial subject, and has even started a raucous in the many political issues. Each year, about two percent of women aged 15-44 have an abortion; 47% of them have had at least one previous abortion (Who Has Abortions?). Fifty percent of U.S. women obtaining abortions are younger than 25 (Who Has Abortions?). Many teenagers just don’t understand the responsibilities that go along with being sexually active, they don’t even think about them. At our age I believe we are not yet capable to comprehend the cons. Maybe they should sit back and think before taking part in it. People should not be having sex just to have it, but because they are in love. Teens do not think about the physical and emotional damages and psychological injuries they might suffer. Their self-esteem is at high risk because there is the possibility of the relationship ending. People tend to deal with break-ups pretty hard, and having sex with the person would just add to that pain. It has been proven that many people feel guilt, hurt, used and regret after having sex. There is so much feeling that goes into being sexually active most teenagers are not able to handle the stress that gets added to the relationship after engaging in intercourse. Sex education programs were first introduced to public school systems in 1913 (Forrest). Since then, this form of education has been a hot and debatable topic among many Americans. The reason traditional sex education is criticized is because teaching students about safe sex makes them believe that as long as they are using contraceptives, engaging in sexual activity is acceptable and safe. Sadly, it is not. They are vaguely promoting teen sex as long as you use protection. Yes I believe birth control methods should be taught, but I prefer we make more emphasis on the alternative which is abstinence. We all know teens are going to do whatever they want to do no matter what, but it doesn’t hurt to try to make an impact on them. There is medical evidence indicating that abstinence, not safe sex, is the only reliable method (Forrest). Schools with abstinence-based program had better results and were more effective in preventing teenage sexual activity and pregnancies (Forrest). Abstinence: to choose, or not to choose, to wait for the right time. I feel abstinence is all of what you make of your life experiences, depending on personal values and morals. Although many birth control methods exist, staying abstinent is the only one that is absolutely 100% reliable. Abstinence is very powerful, and I am proud to be one who has chosen this path.

Works Cited “Benefits of Abstinence.” The Abstainers. n.d. 29 Sept. 2008.

Forrest, Simon. “Sex Education That Works.” Avert. 21 April 2008. 21 Sept. 2008.

Hirsh, Larissa. “About Birth Control: Abstinence.” Kids Health. n.d. 9 Oct. 2008
“Pregnancy.” Facts on American Teens’ Sexual and Reproductive Health. n.d. 19 Sept. 2008. Rector, E. Robert. “The Effectiveness of Abstinence Education Programs in Reducing Sexual
Activity Among Youth” The Heritage Foundation. 8 April 2002. 21 Sept. 2008.
“Who Has Abortions?” Facts on Induced Abortion in the United States. n.d. 25 Sept. 2008.