my worse fault

I think my worst fault is that I am a pessimistic person. I always expect things to turn out badly and I would always see the bad side of things. My mom would always use the inaccurate half glass of water example and I would always answer that the glass is half empty. I feel like if I think about the good things, it will always turns out to be bad. I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing and I don’t want to be disappointed. I feel pessimistic and I am always prepared for the worst. I know is bad to think that way but I can’t help it since I don’t usually have good thing that happens to me. I’ve always been really shy and antisocial. Every time I talk, I make everything so awkward and it makes me think that people don’t like me. Now, I just sit there and listen to other people’s conversation instead of being in the conversation. I am also terrified of situations that haven’t happened yet. Like the first day of school. A week before school starts I would think about bad things like, what if no one talks to me? What if I have bad classes? What if my teachers don’t like me? All of those negative thoughts would be in my head and it’ll stress me out. My mom would always tell me that everything is going to be fine, there is nothing to worry about and tells me to think positive. I don’t thing I can think positive because I always expect thing to turn out bad. I don’t want to be disappointed if I think positive. I’m so jealous of people who were born to be optimistic. I’m trying to be optimistic but I just can’t help but seeing the bad side of everything. This is why being pessimistic is my worst fault.